Though tempting and EXPECTED in most cases, this is social suicide. Even if no one at the office finds out (and they will), this is too close for comfort. If that happy hour bar crawl results in you taking home someone you work with, it is your MAN DUTY to end it before it starts, which interestingly will draw her closer to you…
After reading the book “Disclosure” by Michael Crichton, I came across a very interesting observation that the author points out. Crichton states that there are some very rational reasons for why office romances occur in the magnitude that they do.
For those of us who hold full-time or part-time jobs in the corporate world, government, retail, or restaurant business – you are around your co-workers 40-50 hours a week. Even if you are living with your significant other, you probably do not spend that same amount of time with her. While you might not like everyone you work with, its highly likely that you work with like-minded individuals.
Men in the corporate world have succumbed to an emasculated position. While the glass ceiling certainly still exist, men do not have free reign to make sexual advances towards women as they might have in the past before the Woman’s Movement. When a woman DOES play the part of the aggressor in a professional setting, this catches the man by such surprise he might become greedy and capitalize on that moment without thinking of consequences down the road.
Both the duration and proximity that you are around your co-workers increases the likelihood that you WILL hook up/date someone you work with… And to make matters worse, the higher, more respected your position on the totem pole, the more opportunities you have…
The safest way for an office romance to work is if the two of you work in separate buildings. If basic every-day work-life does not result in you running into her in the kitchen, then go ahead and layeth that intern. Otherwise, you run a heavy risk of not only getting caught but things turning very awkward if things do NOT work out.
If the woman is of higher status in the work place and she comes on to you like bees to honey, than you must sleep with her, but that is O.K….chances are, she will end things as this might have worse implications for her than you…Hey, you were just doing your job!
Man Law #36 – “Man Talk” – When you first start dating a new women, KEEP PAST RELATIONSHIPS in the PAST.
The first few times you go out with her, don’t talk about who you used to date or who she used to date. This may cause her to attribute feelings she felt with her ex – towards you! OR she might place you in the Friends Zone. She might look to you to explain why things didn’t work out with HER ex…this is not where you want to be.
You are here now. If the topic of relationships does come up, ask her what sorts of things shes looking for in a relationship? If she says shes enjoying the single lifestyle, chances are, she’s not looking for anything serious…but if she says she’s tired of men who only want one thing, she’s probably not going to be happy with casual hooking up with no exclusivity… Keep the conversations lighthearted the first few times you meet her…there will be plenty of chances to talk to her about deep subjects if you two get past the first few dates…
Keep it simple, Make the first few dates SMALL TALK only.
Additional Articles on Conversational skills and Making Small Talk:
A woman can remember the shirt designer and outfit that you wore when you first met her on Friday, July 24, 2002, but still forgets one and ONLY one item at your place when she sleeps over…. and they call us the forgetful ones!
I first noticed this pattern in college and I wrote it off as something that only young women tend to do…An earring here, a necklace there… Now, a few years later, women are still doing the exact same thing! Why? Is this a territorial thing? Is this so you are left “wondering” what she is up to? Is it so she has a reason to come back or you HAVE to see her again?
I actually LIKE when women do this, but I’ll be damned if I understand WHY they do it…Women, don’t let your male counterparts suffer like this…shed some light here! Explanation GREATLY appreciated…