Man Law #57 – Compliment Her, Not the Genetics!
The compliment is one of the least understood and seldom perfected points of courtship. If you are in a social situation (i.e. that’s bar or party for those of you just joining us) and you meet someone new that you may be interested in dating, do NOT compliment ANYTHING physical about her appearance. Read this again, do NOT compliment ANYTHING physical about her appearance.
DANGER! DANGER! Both girls KNOW what you are looking at...Be sure to compliment her CHOICE in NECKLACES (Did you even notice?) and don't look down...
When I say physical, I am speaking about her body. Even though she may have size 34DDs, do not be the 334th guy to say that about her that month… Now, few men (I hope) reading this would be that out of touch to do something like that… Women are aware of the fact that men are very visual creatures. They use that to their advantage. Do not compliment them on that which will draw immediate and obvious attention. What was the first thing that you noticed in the picture on the right?
Yeah…
Her genetics are something that is completely the luck of the draw. So even though she may have been born looking like a Victoria Secret model, she had absolutely nothing to do about that and thus, she knows that you are only giving her a compliment based on her PHYSICAL appearance – An appearance that she knows does not represent how she always looks. You haven’t seen her on a bad hair day or without make up on…
As a fundamental rule of thumb, compliments should ALWAYS be given WITH sincerity. If you don’t mean it…Don’t say it. Although science has not proven this yet, I am convinced that women have an 8th sense (in addition to the five already known) that allows them to see past BS.
Think of the art of giving compliments like the cherry in a daiquiri. They should ADD to an already pleasant experience, however, for maximum effect, you need to use them sparingly. Being overly complimentary of a woman will be a fast way to the friend zone. This will decrease your value and while she may feel good/great around you, she KNOWS that you do not know the true her. You haven’t seen her on a bad hair day or without her make up on and you certainly haven’t seen her the morning after…
To ensure that your compliment is sincere, you should almost have an involuntary reason for giving it. Something that almost springs from inside of you that has to find its way out. The compliment needs to be authentic.
The BEST way to give a compliment is to compliment a choice or decision that she has made. You want to compliment her way of thinking that makes her unique and different from the hundred other women who may be at the bar, party, train station (hey, you never know) that night…
More to Come…
In conjunction to this, depending on the social setting beware of how you tread into this realm. If at the club or party, she chose the outfit she’s wearing specifically to accent and accentuate her best features in order to catch your eye and attention, among other things. One recommendation is if you strike up conversation with her and make her laugh, compliment her laugh and how sweet/cute/genuine/etc it is or how her eyes light up when she smiles. But, as above use this sparingly and be sure to maintain eye contact, that shows your confidence and that your interest isn’t just about her body.
Recently while on travel in western Minnesota, I was at a bar with a really cute bartender/waitress. Before leaving, I commented on her smile and left the bar not knowing if I’d ever see her again and not caring. She smiled a little bit more from teh compliment and I’m certain was appreciative. But giving a random girl a passing compliment is not for those new to the art. And a simple smile and head nod from across a room can be enough to brighten some women’s day.
I agree with this completely. I avoid complementing a woman who obviously knows she’s attractive on her looks, or even focusing on them. Instead, I’ll ignore her physical appearance completely and focus on her mind and personality. This leaves most of them flummoxed, as they were completely prepared for the expected physical comment. This also makes them remember me.
That said, I like being single and I’ve never tried to turn this ‘tactic’ into a successful pickup, so I’m not sure if it would work for most UML readers.
Thanks for the comment, Eric!
Its funny but I find that when I compliment women on their shoes, they melt into my hands. It actually works for me because I am genuinely attracted to women with great style and sexy shoes