Second: I personally feel that relationships work, regardless of length, because those involved wish to do so and that after some time they still need to add a lil extra fuel and oil to the mix to keep the gears running. You’re going to come across bumps in the road and the “check engine light” will come on where you’ll need to evaluate the value of maintenance on the “relationship.”
I know many “women” who’ve been in and know nothing other than long term relationships and have never experienced the true essence of being single. For these, I tell some that just ended a long relationship to let their hair down a bit and try to learn more about themselves and what they what from life and a true relationship.
Inversely, yes, “men” can gain a great deal from the experience of a relationship. However, I’ve personally had girls/women tell me that they weren’t/aren’t interested in dating a guy who’s never been in a long term relationship. To that I say “So what?” Obviously, the guy she was with wasn’t “the One” and perhaps the relationship inexperienced gentleman is. By her account, she is risk averse but then places all of her blame on the “commitment-phobic” man. And she may not have all the background information as to why he’s chosen to stay relationship free. I actually dated a girl who’d gone from an 8yr to a 2 yr relationship with about 3 months between those relationships with an additional 3, before we became more consistent but never were we “official.” Not long after I left the immediate picture, about 3 months – after listening to her fall asleep/pass out on the phone while crying – she started to date and create a Myspace sanctioned and publicized offical relationship. I’ll state that the situation hurt a good deal, but it hasn’t ever disuaded me from the prospect of a long term relationship. However, my career and future are important as well and I’m not going to go into something half-assed. So, for those “women” labeling men as “afraid” they may want to get the background story or check their own priorities. We’re all here for the same thing in the outcome.