Man Theory – The Dating Paradigm Shift, Taking The Red Pill
Not the process of “dating” or going out on a “date“, I’m referring to the word “date” and having to label things in order for them to exist for some people.
Han Solo never dated Leia; Indiana Jones never dated Dr. Elsa Schneider; Neo never dated Trinity; and James Bond definitely did not date Pussy Galore. How did all of these men manage to attract these beautiful women while simultaneously saving the world? Most of these women mentioned were not stereotypical damsels in distress by any means. They were political leaders, doctors, accomplished hackers, and…well…we don’t really know what profession “Pussy” was supposed to be in the movie but for the most part these women could take care of themselves!
The word “dating” causes a lot of interpretation problems. If you see someone more than twice and it is not clear whether you have a romantic interest in them, are the two of you “dating”? At a close second come other words such as seduction, courtship, and pursuit. None of them accurately describe what is happening. These words build up perceptions in our own minds and the minds of others. When it comes to the English language, we are seriously lacking words in the whole relationship department.
It turns out to be a necessary evil and one that I have not been able to solve throughout the course of writing this blog. What name can you give a pseudo-opportunity for a relationship that you hope to become sexual? To say that your pursuit of another is entirely altruistic is naive at best. You are not hoping to add another friend to your list. You are seducing, courting, and finally pursuing a woman that you find appealing. For most men, the goal of dating is to fulfill a “physical” need. Along with that physical requirement for many men is an emotional connection with the woman which typically comes far,far behind and might not even be a factor with some.
To get away from the black and white, formal approach to a date, take it one step further. Think of yourself as somewhat of an action hero who has been sent to save thy woman from a harsh environment. WWJBD – What Would James Bond Do? After all, he was arguably the biggest ladies man in the theaters for almost half a century and how many dates did you see 007 going on? Answer: Not Many. (Editorial Note: For those of you who may have forgotten, a rather nice English gentleman went through the effort of compiling a list of Bond Women. You can view this formidable list here: http://www.jamesbondmm.co.uk/bond-girls). James Bond didn’t have time to date in the traditional sense and neither does the modern man. He would make the most of the situation he had while he knew he had it. If James Bond had 15 minutes to live and he was “trapped” with a woman who just happened to be there, you can best be sure he was running some sick game on her.
It’s my belief that part of the allure that James Bond and Indiana Jones had on these women in the movies was that in every case they met through fate of circumstance. There was a “reason” why they were forced into “compromising” situations. Neither of these men approached the woman in the traditional sense. For one reason or another, they needed each other for survival. These women were thrown into the mix with the hero and during that time they realized they were furiously attracted to the man that in most instances they viewed with hostility at first.
Forget the typical constraints of what society says you should do to “court” a woman with flowers, a nice dinner, and a movie. These might have worked on our parents at a point where what was socially acceptable for women to engage in with a man she was not married to was much more conservative but for the most part, they are a remnant of the past.
To Date or Not To Date. That is the question.
And one in which I’d love to hear what everyone thinks on the subject. For the busy man or woman working 40+ hours a week or involved with a packed full-time schedule in college, how do you “date” in the 21st century? Post your thoughts below.