Comments on: Man Law #71 – Embrace Rejection!

By: dave

dave — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 04:55:29 +0000

I have been “rejected” so much that I have been out of this wonderful,one-sided
and tilted game for more than 21 years. My own fault. I did not change into someone
else or take “self-help” change me over courses. I am in my forties and never even kissed a girl, and am now headed to the Orient with others whom you have made
into “losers” like me. Some time next month, some woman will say “yes” when I ask
her to dance( no sarcasm), and I will not be rejected again. I am a typical guy
otherwise, but these rejections were many and forthcoming.
That might sound like a little thing to you, but for the first time, I will
have a woman in my arms, even if she just pretends to like me.
There are hard lessons out there, but I give much credit to guys who van grin
and bear this insanity.

By: So E.Z. a Caveman Could Do It

So E.Z. a Caveman Could Do It — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 03:26:57 +0000

Fear of rejection is perhaps the biggest block to men approaching women. Rejection hurts like a muthaf**ka, but only because of how we perceive it. We take rejection personally, which is such a waste of time. You cannot be liked by everyone, it is impossible. I mean, Jesus Christ was an all around swell guy, but that didn’t stop the mob from crucifying him. People will make quick judgements based on the impression you give them. But even when you try your best to be your best, not everyone will have the same perspective about you.

Rejection prevents men from acquiring greatness. “That girl will never like me, I don’t have a funny line to say, my body odor is acting up today.” Just what if, WHAT IF she would have accepted you faults and all, what if she ended up laughing at the corny joke, what if you didn’t let fear of rejection stop you?

By: Pete

Pete — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:39:22 +0000

Two points:

1. We learn from experience, but we learn best from BAD experience. So, embrace rejection! Great advice, Ethan.

2. Valentine’s Day: I tried something last year that worked GREAT on V-Day. I had gotten close during the previous months with a woman who lived on the West Coast. I live in Maryland. There was no way, logistically, that we could get together on V-Day, but I wanted to do something for her on Valentine’s Day.
In the past I had used a company called Shari’s Berries as a source of order-from-the-Web, deliver-overnight chocolate-covered strawberries. (You can’t go wrong with chocolate-covered strawberries for a romantic gift; biochemically, they mimic endorphins. Really.) So, I sent out two boxes of six strawberries each: one to her, one to me. The one to her was marked “Call me when you get this.”
They were delivered the next day, and she called me that night. We opened our boxes of strawberries together, separated by 3000 miles but on the phone together. She LOVED it… she actually spent five minutes describing each strawberry in the box (this one is white chocolate, this one is dark chocolate, etc.) Then we each ate one, describing in turn on the phone the sensual (in the true sense of the word), taste-explosion sensation of eating a chocolate-covered strawberry.
Of course, the strawberries themselves were beside the point — what she valued was the EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE of sharing that with me. THAT is what women seek.
She and I haven’t actually crossed paths since — i.e. our lives have their own directions — but we’ve stayed in touch and we’re still on great terms. More importantly, it absolutely made her Valentine’s Day, so it was worth doing for good karma if for no other reason.
Your milage may vary, and although it isn’t cheap, I recommend it.

By: DJ Long

DJ Long — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 02:48:48 +0000

Rejection can also be viewed or learned from in teh otehr person’s eyes, if you happen to be the rejector. I’ve had plenty of rejection and I mean plenty. Most of it I just shrug off and keep pressing like a good soldier in the fight to find a good mate. Granted there have been times were I was left mystified by why I was rejected and the other party didn’t provide a letter, email, in person explanation or even a text (I’d haev appreciated a singing telegram putting me down, at least it would be inventive and interesting). But about a year ago I started to see a girl I met through a mutual female friend (with whom I had been physical and whose sister I had once been involved with – they were all friends and probably brings into play many issues a shrink would have a field day with. But for another day or over beer). We were cool and I did enjoy hanging out, but I was not really looking for anything serious and had alluded to this a number of times. but then during a weekend road trip, my stance was made solid and firm and silent tears were shed by her for about 2 hours of the 10 it took to get to our destination. She was a trooper though and made it through the weekend with smiles for all the pictures. Also, on teh way back we had conversation, not nearly as lively but cordgial. There were attempts by her previously to find out where she stood, but at each in person interaction she failed to really say her peice probably for fear of finding out the truth and being rejected. Then over chat sessions and emails everything really came to the surface and we “unfriended” on fb so she could re-set and re-allign her priorities.
Being aware of the person’s needs and maintaining your own is probably most important. But the main thing is communication. I think that is really what helps people to rebound best adn quickest. Knowing why the other person is “shunning” your advances adds substance and key points valuable for self-reflection, education and improvement. I’ve had cases where it took me longer to get past the idea and fact of being rejected, because the other person didn’t give a reason or their reason was fake and superficial that I felt worse off because I felt a great sense of betrayal and that the underlying friendship bond had been broken. Also, for me I get back on my feet. But then I take time to truly develop “me” and to make sure I know what my priorities in life are before seeking any relationship. Partly, because I want to make sure that my next fling isn’t about revenge or to show up the other previous lover. Because that is a no-win situation for all and could truly emotional scar by-standers.
I think with this law and a few others that have adjacent and amplifying substance that the moral is to take time after the end of each romantic relationship and figure out why it didn’t last, whether on good terms, bad terms or communication from the otehr person ceases all together. It will be eye-opening and enlightening once you take a step back and analyze (DON’T BROOD) the situation and you’ll come out better for it.

By: Ethan Bishop

Ethan Bishop — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 13:37:49 +0000

Thanks for the comment Hangerbaby. Checked out your blog, pretty funny and needs to come with a “Parental Discretion Advised”.