Home > Man Law > Guest Post – Wingman VS. Wingwoman: 3 Good Reasons Why You Should Stick To The Original by Alex Scott

Guest Post – Wingman VS. Wingwoman: 3 Good Reasons Why You Should Stick To The Original by Alex Scott


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On September 20, 2010 UML featured Trinie Le Blanc on why women make the best wingmen. While Ms. Le Blanc’s argument did have certain valid points, her argument falls apart in three significant areas. Let’s take these issues one by one.

"To each his own, but for me, a wingman is the right MAN for the job..."

1)      “…when guys have deployed their wingmen to strike up a conversation with me, this effort falls flat.” – Trinie Le Blanc

First of all, this is terrible wingman technique. The wingman’s job is not to go in first… alone… unarmed; of course this poor sap was terribly unsuccessful. No, the wingman’s job is just that, to be a wing

MAN, to stay by the wing guarding against assaults from “the we-gotta-go” girl or the “she’s-just-here-to-hang-with-her-friends” girl or worst… the “I-can’t-leave-without-my-(homely)-girlfriend”  The one thing that no… well very, very, few wingwomen can do, is fall on a grenade. And when two well coordinated men go out on the town the understanding is that if the situation calls for it, either will take the grenade for the other, wingwomen almost never understand this.

2)      “Qualities of a good wingwoman:

- She’s extroverted and enjoys meeting new people

- She’s confident and doesn’t mind sharing the spotlight with other women

- She has a good sense of humor and isn’t easily put off by other people

- She understands the concept of subtlety” – Trinie Le Blanc

Who is this woman?!? If this woman actually existed and didn’t have 3 arms we’d be dating her! The problem is this, and I’m just going to put it out there, guys really have a hard time legitimately being friends with women we find attractive. And if we’re single hanging out with attractive, fun, interesting, outgoing women is that much harder. So if we’re hanging out with you, chances are we’re trying to find ways to bang you.

3)      “Like running in high heels or, well, giving birth, some things are just better left up to the girls – including picking up chicks.” -Trinie Le Blanc

Ms. Le Blanc gives great advice… if we lived in an ideal world. Unfortunately, in the real world, time after time, otherwise reasonable, rational, creative and smart women have the world’s worst taste in women. Ms. Le Blanc gave the example of women meeting and bonding in the restroom. Here’s an example. Two women go into a bathroom, a “wingwoman” and a 3; two women come out. The guy still sees their “wingwoman” and a 3 but now that the women have “bonded” to the wingwoman the 3 is suddenly an 8.5. Therefore she will spend the next 45 minutes explaining why he should approach her.

Still the one...

Now why is this? First, women can be incredibly competitive, so your 7.9 “wingwoman” is not going to set you up with the 9.3 supermodel, it just doesn’t happen. They’ll gladly set you up with someone of their own perceived hotness level or lower, but if the “wingwoman” is really that hot, I refer back to argument #2 we want to bang her! Secondly, women are more emotional and so they like to talk about their feelings. Men are creatures of action, so we’d rather not spend 45 minutes having you explain to us why Sara spelled without an H would be great for us. When a guy has a guy wingman the conversation goes much differently. “What about Sara?” “Sarah? Dude, are you kidding me?” “Next!”

So the bottom line is this, chances are that if a guy has a wingwoman he’s secretly trying to find a way to bang her, while she is subconsciously trying to c-block him. In the end everyone goes home frustrated… unless the guy is successful… in landing a threesome.

Out.

Alex Scott

Be sure to follow me on Twitter @sensitiveplayer

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  1. September 28, 2010 at 3:12 am | #1

    ahahah I loved the point system…7.9 and 9.3…I think I need to revise my boy rating system to include fractions/percentages/decimal points…basically mathematical specificity…I’d be interested in knowing what accounts for these small incusions/variables???

  2. Eric Simms
    September 28, 2010 at 10:16 am | #2

    I smiled as I read this. I have to agree with Mr. Scott on most of his points, especially that most women won’t set you up with someone more attractive than themselves, and that they have a tendency to steer ‘less than ideal’ women to you.

  3. Trinie
    September 28, 2010 at 10:41 am | #3

    No no no, it’s not that wingwomen are going to FORCE a chick on you… YOU are supposed to point out who you think is hot. Then the wingwoman makes her her new friend. The whole bathroom scenario is just an example of how quickly women can bond with each other. :)

  4. Trinie
    September 28, 2010 at 10:44 am | #4

    … And let’s be honest. How often are wingmen successful? Maybe 10 percent of the time. (I’m being generous here.) As for point 2… Who says that your wingwoman has to be hot? That’s not listed as one of the qualities. Just because a girl is cool doesn’t mean you want to sleep with her. Maybe she’s not all that pretty!

  5. A wingman
    September 28, 2010 at 11:54 am | #5

    I read the original post and thought the same thing that you pointed out in #1: “she missed the whole point of the wingman”! Women like confident men so having some other dude introduce you is NOT a good strategy. The wingman does what you said, but also just in general helps his friend. He laughs at his friend’s jokes even if they’re not that funny, or helps him recover from a mis-step, maybe by throwing in a well-timed comment or moving the conversation onto something else.

    That being said, I think the wingwoman can work as the introduction, as described. But then get out of the way after that. If you stick around, the girl will be wondering ‘is there something going on between them?’ or ‘if he’s so great why doesn’t she go for him?’ or else just become buddies with the wingwoman leaving the dude in the dust.

    • August 30, 2013 at 8:06 pm | #6

      My girlfriends and I often start thegtoer (unless it’s a race with corrals, in which case we start in the appropriate one) but none of us feel bad ditching the group. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever finished a race with the people I started with. My husband and I ditch each other before the race even starts, he goes up with the fast people and I look for the group of people who are between the people wearing baggy old sweatpants and the people wearing running shorts. I can usually find a few other gals in spandex Mom capri’s.

    • September 2, 2013 at 4:23 pm | #7

      Just the type of insight we need to fire up the debate.

    • October 18, 2013 at 4:58 pm | #8

      To think, I was confused a minute ago.

    • November 3, 2013 at 7:11 pm | #9

      Hi ..Great to have a comment from you I will be in the front seat when you have an event in Australia My bussenis is in the Personal Development industry maybe we could have you at one of our events .I will be on the look out for more of your great work.

  6. Eric Simms
    September 28, 2010 at 12:17 pm | #10

    I think we should introduce the Wingpuppy into the mix. I bet I could achieve much greater success by approaching a woman with a cute puppy in my arms than an entire flock of wingmen and wingwomen. :-)

    • September 28, 2010 at 1:56 pm | #11

      If by puppy you mean plane ticket and/or degree (MA, MBA, Ph.D – I’m not choosy)…I think you might be onto something.

    • September 28, 2010 at 3:55 pm | #12

      We could actually take the “wingpuppy” idea to its logical conclusion, and introduce the concept of “wingbaby”. However, it requires that you be able to say “It’s been so hard since we lost his mother” with a straight face. And to have no conscience. Damn, I knew there was something wrong with this idea.

      • September 28, 2010 at 6:38 pm | #13

        I think the wingbaby would work better with the catchphrase “I help out my sister by looking after [wingbaby] to give her some time off, I mean she just works so hard”.
        This offers all the same advantages but eliminates the potential problems of a. appearing like a sociopath b. concerning said girl that her saturday nights of fun might turn into the diapers and crying and c. spares the girl the impossible “living up to the dead wife” worries…

        And you all say a girl can’t be a good wingchick…I just got uncles (or boys who know people willing to lend them their baby) everywhere laid!

  7. September 28, 2010 at 6:57 pm | #14

    Something-Girl: I was actually just kidding about the Wingbaby line… Although it does reduce me to uncontrolled laughter every time I think of it.

    The problem, as you say, it that requires sociopathy.

    BTW — I checked out your blog. Nice professional look.

    I am in fact convinced that girls make good wingchicks… Watch this space…

    • September 29, 2010 at 2:30 am | #15

      LOL Pete :) I know you were joking about the wingbaby…though I’m only partly kidding about the bit about how I would definitely be sold on a dude who had a plane ticket for me in his hand…and not at all joking about a dude with a big fat degree :P

      I weary of responding to your comment “nice professional look.” because either

      A. I’m a total douche if I take you seriously and then say…erhm…um…really??? I actually think it kinda sucks and have held off on any real promotion of it until I can get a graphic designer to help with things…because nobody likes a person who can’t take a compliment and then goes further to mock themselves (however truthful it may be)

      or

      B. I assume you’re making fun of my blog (mostly because I could understand you saying…hilarious…well-written…retarded…awesome…ridiculous…sexy…but “professional”…hardly…which makes me paranoid/bitchy and you douchey…

      I’m pretty sure you’re not douchey…so I’ll go with option C…by professional you meant…awesome…and in which case…I thank you sir :)

  8. DJ Long
    September 29, 2010 at 10:12 pm | #16

    While I believe in the use of a “distractor” to help you seal the deal, I feel you should have access to either type of wing person. Knowing how and when to employ/deploy the asset shows great understanding of changing situations in the environment. Of course there are times when having a male wingman is best – 1:1.5 ratio of guys to girls, and yes my math is correct because it accounts for the varying of situations. However, if the ratio of guys to girls is 1:2.5, unless the wingman is on his game, the employment of a wingwoman can be the best weapon to use in order to gain access to the gaggle of beauties, and may also provide the opportunity of breaking from the group 1.5 females thus increasing the odds for successful target engagement for the male and his wingman. Thus, I say both Trinie and alex make valid points that lead to “success on the battlefield of romance.”

  9. October 11, 2010 at 12:44 pm | #17

    I agree that women make the best wingmen. For one we are non-threatening. We can engage conversation over shoes, designers, other cute men at the bar. We can disarm with smiles and easily incorporate others into the conversation. For two, women are attracted to beautiful women. if your wingwoman is very attractive, targets will naturally be open to her. Also, women offer validation. Why would an attractive women be hanging out with a loser? The company you keep says alot about you. Wing woman give the appearance that you are desirable because you are in the company of an attractive woman. The reason friends especially male friends don’t work as wingmen is because the man who makes the first moves shows the most confidence. Why would a woman want your meek and socially inept friend compared to the guy who is doing all of the work. also it’s kind of offensive. Obviously one friend is less attractive but even if he isn’t why are both of you just duking it out for this woman’s attention. Why did one of you concede? men should approach women together, wingmen just make the other guy seem lame and shy.

  10. October 22, 2010 at 4:44 pm | #18

    If I must say so myself, I am a great wingwoman :-)

  11. DJ Long
    March 20, 2011 at 7:27 pm | #19

    To add an update to this post; before heading west to SoCal, I popped up to Boston to hang out with an old friend. While with my friend, her sister and her female co-worker at a local bar/club my friend’s co-worker had another female come over to our group and start conversation. After a short time she then introduced her male friend to the group. It was a semi-successful use of the female wingman technique. I applauded the tactic, though the guy had little character or charm to woo any of the beautiful ladies I had the pleasure of being with that night. And speaking of the female wingwoman, the friend I went to meet with was introduced to me by my female best friend from high school. So the technique can work in the right situation.

    • July 31, 2013 at 1:38 pm | #20

      amen to this post brother. going out with a frnied always turns gaming into a fun experience rather than a sink or swim sort of deal. also i loved that movie Into the Wild =] hey maybe one day if/when ur in Santa Rosa Beach, FL or Gulfport Mississippi, you could be my wingman ;D

    • August 10, 2013 at 3:00 am | #21

      I’m not worthy to be in the same forum. ROTFL

    • August 30, 2013 at 8:06 pm | #22

      Running together in a race is soenihtmg I’ve never understood, but I guess it all depends on what your goals are and reasons for racing. I always feel like I want to give my best and I’d want whoever I was running with to do the same.

    • November 3, 2013 at 10:26 pm | #23

      Great article!! I’ve been a part of the lgueae for all but one season and I’ve loved it every time. I’ve met some amazing friends and I can’t wait to umpire the Wrightwood League again this coming summer!

  12. September 29, 2013 at 11:54 pm | #24

    I do consider all the concepts you have offered on your post.

    They’re very convincing and can definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are too short
    for novices. Could you please extend them a bit from subsequent time?
    Thank you for the post.

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