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Man Law #86 – Kiss Her Like You Mean It!

May 28, 2011 1 comment

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A friend of mine recently posted a video of her marriage proposal on Facebook – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJEDVUdnPzo. Now, besides the fact that the proposal idea was completely original and unique in that it was tailored to HER, there were a few points that people happened to notice and comment on more so than the proposal itself…

The Kiss...

The Kiss.

You’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again –  A kiss tells A LOT about a person.  There’s plenty of different types of kissers but one thing is for sure. A good kiss should have the other person begging for a second one. She should WANT to continue it. And the only way that I know of doing this, is being absolutely – in the moment – while you kiss her.

So what do I mean by – in the moment.

A good kiss, a good FIRST kiss, is a bit like you and her freezing in time while everyone else in the room melts away *instantly*. You know it’s about to get to this moment, when you are kissing her and you have cognitive awareness that there are other people in the room and all of a sudden you just say – “ FUCK IT.” It really should be “f—k them” because everything else is unimportant. During this moment, the two of you are completely engaged. And this is where you have to make it count.

Kisses must flow.

You and this person need to be fighting over positioning. She is pulling you into her as you are pulling her back into you. She is grabbing your lapels, you are physically moving into her, and this embrace can be likened to the embrace of savages. As this is our most base instinct. (I know this is deep right now but deal with it for a second).

If you are growing squeamish at this point, it’s best if you turn back now… In fact, leave your man card at the door, you won’t be needing it…

During each moment of the kiss, be aware of the sensitivity and the amount of pressure exerted on the lips. I say this because you need to be aware of what’s going on in the moment. If she is standing like a stick figure and passively allowing you to kiss her, chances are, she’s not really into it. She doesn’t want to turn away but she’s honored that you are willing to take a chance at rejection.  Usually this turns out to mean one thing.

Boyfriend.

In 2011, “Boyfriend” is a subjective term.  In this case, it refers to any person she is engaged with sexually that would be pissed off if she knew the two of you were swapping saliva. This could be anything from a guy she went on one or two dates with or a guy she is currently engaged to…You can’t do anything about him right now, but if you do know she is seeing someone (or feel a ring on her finger, whichever comes first), don’t cross the streams and leave this for him to take care of… Moving on…

 There is nothing worse than a static kisser.

Your mouth should never just move up and down, up and down, ones(1) and zeroes (0),  like a peg on an assembly line. But it should flow into the next iteration of the movement. Think: WAVES. Water. Flowing.  Everything should be smooth, graceful, and even. While you should be aware of your mouth, your entire body should be involved. Feel the ground beneath your feet. I’m serious. Are you firm? Leaning in, Leaning out?  Get it? A good kiss involves every part of your body from the mouth down to your toes.

Step into her. Grab the small of her back to pull her close. Cup the side of her face in your one hand. Cup the back of her neck. Use BOTH hands to cup her face. Hold it for an instant while you let the moment – sizzle. This is your time. Own it.

A good kiss doesn't just involve the tongue...but the lips as well...suck 'em!

A good kiss, should have her reeling back and saying to herself…Wow.

Where did this guy come from?

Now there are a few people who don’t believe in public displays of affection and there is certainly a time or place for this…but if there is one thing you need to take away from this Man Law…it’s the following…

When it comes to PASSION, it’s always the right time…

This is Ethan Bishop.

Over and out.

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An Open Letter from Miss Solomon: From Nice to NEXT!

May 15, 2011 8 comments

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Dear Nice Guys of The World,

Hey there, what’s up? I know we haven’t spoken in awhile but I feel bad about the way things ended. Once we parted I thought I’d never speak to you again. Still, I couldn’t leave you with so many questions, wondering why things didn’t work out when they seemed to be going so well.

Things were going well, actually. I didn’t mind that you’d call me the second I said I would be home or back from a trip. Thanks to caller id, I never had to answer. Even the senseless texts and your attempts at humor didn’t bother me.

The truth is I just wanted you to take some initiative and escape all the fears that had held you back with other women and make one exception for me. I wanted to hear from your own mouth what you thought of me and what you wanted from me.

Don’t hate me for saying this but I was testing you. Obviously you didn’t pass. I know it brings up questions about what women really want but you have to understand even when you’re on a date with one women you’re still competing against every other man that wants to date her too.

I wasn’t trying to see how much you would let me get away with or how much of your dignity you’d let me take, I only wanted to know if you had a backbone and where exactly was it.

I would’ve been fine without the five star dining had you offered more interesting and riveting conversation. I would have been content with inexpensive dates had you only thought more creatively. All I wanted was for you to be your own person and have your own thoughts. Oh and for you to stop thinking that if you were a cast member of Entourage, you’d be Vincent Chase.

From the moment we met I could tell that you liked me a lot and while on most occasions it’s flattering, I got the impression that you liked me but you didn’t know me. It seemed like everything I ever said about anything just went right over your head. For as long as we dated, I doubt you ever even knew my favorite color or my middle name.

Whether or not I was funny you laughed at my jokes, whether or not I was hungry you wanted to take me to dinner. No matter what I said, I always felt that you just weren’t listening to who I was. I would always just be a beautiful woman.

You never realized that to me you were not a beautiful man. You were supposed to be the reason why looks don’t matter. You were supposed to be the kind of guy who listened and was attentive, able to stimulate my mind with intense conversations and deep debate. Instead you agreed with everything I said.

All you could think about was having sex. You had the look of a thirteen year old seeing porn for the first time and you didn’t even realize how many times I’d seen that look before. The minute inexperience was painted all over your face I knew we could never be.

I guess I kept thinking under the shyness and insecurities there would be an exciting, charismatic and interesting guy. You repeatedly found ways to prove me wrong. You abandoned all sincerity and let hormones take you over.

I needed you to see yourself, the way I saw you as a man who was given a chance. For all the times you swore you finished last, or were ignored. I gave you an opportunity to prove everyone wrong. You could’ve showed me that there was something to nice guys that women were missing out on. You didn’t.

You require more patience, more affection, more coaxing and coddling than any other man I’ve ever dated. Our past has been so full of boring chitchat, bitchassness and awkward kissing that I just don’t see how we could ever have a future.

I hope you will learn from this letter and find a way to make yourself either far more interesting or more self-aware. If you see me in the streets, please don’t speak.

Sincerely,

To Read More from Miss Solomon, check out her blog at: www.thedatingtruth.com and become a fan on Facebook.

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