Man Law #56 – Understand Female Psyche 101 – A Million Reasons Why She Won’t Sleep with You; A Million Reasons Why She Just Did…
If you’ve ever asked someone to describe WHY they slept with someone else, chances are they were not 100% honest.
"I'm going to sleep with this guy...now I just need to figure out how to make it look like an accident..."
The majority of men might answer “Well, uhhhh, she was there…and it seemed like a good idea at the time.” While this might work in locker rooms and when guys get together to discuss their weekend shenanigans (not that most guys would really question WHY he slept with a girl or say anything more than “Good Job“), a woman will tend to provide lengthy doctorial-worthy explanations why she slept with someone. Her answer of “He was there…” are way to simplified and if that was the case, most women need only step outside in order to be bombarded with sexual advances. Case in point, if you sent a man and woman of relatively the same attractiveness level outside to see who could collect five phone numbers of the opposite sex fastest, 9 times out of 10, if not in every case, the woman would win.
With the exception of the following scenario where a one night stand turns into a guy who became obsessed with her and she will change her answer from “He was cute” to “It was a mistake“, most women will have a specific checklist of bullet-point matches that she has devised in order to provide plausible deniability for her actions. The key point to remember is that something about the GUY or the EVENT has to be “special”. This is the only explanation that her harshest critics (her female friends) will give her a “pass” for… Great reasons to sleep with a guy that women won’t judge THAT negatively and give a “Free Pass”:
- He was leaving the next day (or she was…)
- It was his/her birthday or some event that warranted her acting crazy
- A wedding or bachelorette party
Almost any singular “special” event that stands out, such as she was trapped in an elevator with Matthew McConaughey and one thing led to another that prevents it from seeming like just another every day situation, will give her enough credibility and plausible deniability that she is not promiscuous.
"How can I make this all seem like I hadn't planned it all from the start...Maybe having condoms on the table is a little too forward."
For those of you who maintain friendship relationships with women you have previously been romantic with or have close platonic female friends, ask her WHY she slept with someone (or you) and you will see the exclamations start running. Don’t be surprised if you receive the following for an answer, “I don’t know, but at some point during the night, I decided I was going to F*** him…” which is all the explanation most guys would ever need…
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Accurate! I think due to the double standard placed upon women by society, they feel they must justify their actions not only to others but to themselves as well. The most recent I have heard was “He was moving to the Bahamas so I would never have to see him again.”
All very true. Although, there is a growing portion of women in today’s society (thnaks to “Sex and the City” and similar media) that don’t need a “lame” excuse as to “why” they slept with a guy. Many are stating simply because they were horny or because they just wanted to. Basically, the societal norms are diminishing. But, they will always reign supreme in the capialization of opportunities…
All of my friends and I have at least one reason for the rare occasions when we have slept with a guy on the “first date”. A few of my favorites from my friends; I just got dumped it was NYE and the night was magical, The night was perfect he looked just like Rob Lowe and he was leaving for a business trip and wasn’t sure when he would be back,he was the coolest guy we had so much in common and I was never going to see him again.
I can honestly say none of my friends have ever called me up to tell me they slept with a guy “because they were horny” and I have a ton of single girlfriends who meet men all the time. This statement is always included with the reason in some form but it’s never the real reason. Most women do require a bit of romance and a deeper connection before wanting to be intimate with a man.
I don’t think these explainations are given in order to get a “free pass” from their girlfriends and they aren’t lame excuses either. I think these reasons are actually valid. If there was no reason to sleep with the guy then there wouldn’t be any sex. Besides Samantha Jones, I don’t know of any women who want to meet a guy so she can have sex to “get her rocks off”. All the women I know want a guy to sweep them off of their feet (which requires some form of romance) and if the guy doesn’t screw it up then maybe have sex ;).
Great response Elle! Now, I have had women who have confided that although they had a man pursuing them, they “used” him for physical reasons even though they knew they wanted nothing more with him. I don’t really think there is anything wrong with that explanation.
Oh, and the “Samantha Jones” from Sex and the City phenomena tends to apply to older women I’ve noticed!
I think that it is a bit generational/geagraphic/economic/up-bringing as to the mindset and reasons/excuses for why women sleep with a guy. Obviously with cougars, many have had the relationships and marriages and kids, so they may just be looking for a young stud to make them feel young again. Plus, they are in their sexual prime and if they can pull a younger guy into their den of delight it ups the euphoric effects.
For those that are younger, I think a bit of it has to deal with up-bringing and personal morals. I know women who will say they slept with a guy because of all those “excuses” listed above. But, when you peel away the surface of that banana, what’s underneath is the sheer fact that she thought he was hot and wanted to get her kitty stroked. Plain and simple. She may have the sub-agenda of finding something steady and having that progress into a relationship and then to marriage. So taht is true. And, believe it or not, guys (well most guys) think the same way, where they too are looking for something that may materialize into something more concrete and firm.
Regardless of everything – Nature and primal instincts are what drive a lot of our sexual decisions.
I might not fully appreciate the “Samantha Jones” phenomenona because I’ve yet to reach cougarhood. I will share my opinion again once I reach and earn my cougar status Raaar lol.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with cougars. It should be viewed as a badge of honor!