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Man Law #68 – If You Don’t See The Door, Build it.


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The following is a completely true story. Names and events are factual.

Women today aren't waiting around for a guy to save them. They've got their own tools and resources. But they are still attracted to go-getters and those who pursue their goals!

More or less.

Around 10,000 B.C., there were a group of cave dwellers consisting of a few men, women and children. On one particular morning, a man named Ed “Soon-To-Be-Eaten” Johnson races back into the cave to tell the rest of the group that there are a pack of tigers pacing around outside. This is the conversation that took place verbatim:

Ed “Soon-To-Be-Eaten” Johnson: “Game Over Man, Game Over! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna DO?!?”

Sean “Man-with-a-plan” Leonidas says: “I don’t know what YOU are going to do, but I’m going to sharpen these sticks laying right over here, throw some of these rocks, and have some roasted tiger for dinner tonight.”

Unable to remain calm and think things through, Ed races out of the cave to try to out run the tigers.  From above, Sean and the group witness the tigers tear Ed apart limb from limb.  The most attractive woman of the group, Vanessa Del Torez, notices how cool and in control Sean is throughout the entire ordeal.  Although she does not know what the plan is, she feels safer around him. Vanessa walks up to Sean and ask “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Sean replies “Yes, Stay here and throw these rocks at the tigers to distract them while I charge with my spear.”

Vanessa responds “Ok, but aren’t you scared?”

Sean replies “Yes, but being scared won’t save us, while this 10-foot spear named Painless will.”

Without wasting any time, Sean dashes towards the tigers, weapon in hand while Vanessa lobs stones from the cave. The plan works perfectly.

Later that night, while the cave dwellers are having second and third plates of roasted tiger, Vanessa sits by Sean and says “I really liked how you handled the situation. When everyone else was losing their cool, you were looking for solutions. Where did you learn to think like that?”

Sean replied with the statement  “Back home where I’m from, If you don’t see the door, you have to build it.

True story.

Many women will be happy to jump on board to help you reach your goals. Women love improving men and sharing your goals with her is one way she can feel closer and connected with you.

Whether its 10,000B.C. or 2010 A.D., when all is said and done, women are still attracted to many of the same things they have always been. A man with a plan who has drive and ambition. Now, more than ever before, women have less and less need to rely on a man for survival. More glass ceilings have shattered, pay is higher (while still not equal), and as a result, their expectations of men have skyrocketed. Nowadays, many women aren’t content waiting in the cave.  They want to be out there on the front lines. They are forming their own caves and kicking out the men who don’t measure up. For those of you just joining the conversation, that means our jobs as men got tougher.

What this boils down to is that the woman needs to believe that you have goals and if you aren’t there yet, you are ACTIVELY doing something about it. If you aren’t making the money you think you should, you are actively correcting this situation by either building your resume up or getting a second job. If you aren’t as strong as you’d like to be, instead of sitting there telling people “I need to go to the gym” you tell them “I’ll talk to you after I get back from the gym.” The man that women like is one who can actively solve solutions instead of looking to the next guy.

You don’t have to self-start a Fortune 500 company to show that you have drive. It could be as simple as planning a friday night out, organizing a party, a hike, anything that you can see through to its completion.

In 2010, don’t wait for the girl at the end of the bar or the job hunter to find you.  Man up and tackle the situation full speed.

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  1. Eric Simms
    January 4, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    Good example, and a good Law. Sluggards are useless creatures, and deserve to have their Man Cards revoked.

    • January 4, 2010 at 5:28 pm

      Thank you Eric! I’m glad you like this Law!

  2. January 4, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    I’m feeling it Ethan. Keep throwing down the man-laws and schooling the one’s who need to know. Your blog is great!
    Robminx
    http://www.robminx.wordpress.com

    • January 4, 2010 at 6:46 pm

      Thank you Robminx! I really appreciate the support!

  3. Autumn Roessler
    January 5, 2010 at 8:08 am

    Very well written, and so totally true. Love it!

    • January 6, 2010 at 1:52 pm

      Thank you Autumn. You were the inspiration behind one of the comments. IF you can figure out which one!

  4. vhs
    January 5, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    This law is without question is what women want. I am a woman, I have a whirlwind of a lifestyle that is intricately planned and sought after for my own future, and the last person that I want to be a part of it is someone who doesn’t meet those same standards. When I find someone who doesn’t dwell on every day obstacles, I am immediately attracted to them, regardless of their overall physical attraction or money in their wallet. Why waste time with people who aren’t proactive about their own life? Jesus, we only have one.

    I also like the idea that women want to be a part of the success, i.e. throwing rocks while you throw the spears. It’s more that you both want to build each other up or create the same positive outcomes, and being around the same sort of energy will get you both what you want.

    • January 6, 2010 at 1:51 pm

      Thanks for mentioning the part about being a part of the success. That’s a great way of looking at it too!

  5. DJ Long
    January 6, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    As always, great insight to the necessity of taking a moment to find calm in the wake of disaster. Being proactive and not so much reactive to the situations of life. I too am in search of a women who doesn’t need me in her life, but wants me there because, as ne-yo sang on the fabo hook, “I’m a movement by myself, but a force when we’re together. I’m good all by myself, but you, you make me better.” The profoundity of the cacthy tune speaks volumes of truth. Some people out there need to feel provided for and they pair with those who need to provide. Others perfer the supported/supporting relationship where the role alternates in a cohesion of balance. I prefer the latter. I want to augment the life another human who has her own goals, drive, determination and supports my own and together we have common goals. The goal of growing together, building our relationship. Celebrating in one another’s triumphs, but also understanding there comes time when one must put their desires after those of their partner. in part it goes back to being and having confidence, it alone is the ultimate aphrodisiac…

    • January 8, 2010 at 7:54 pm

      Thanks for the post DJ Long! I’ve probably heard the song that you mentioned and just not recognize the quote by itself. It captures the essence of the Law. If you expect things to get done, don’t look towards others to figure it out for you. A man and woman as part of a team looking out for each others interest is a powerful combination and a force not to be messed with!

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