Man Law #68 – If You Don’t See The Door, Build it.
The following is a completely true story. Names and events are factual.
More or less.
Around 10,000 B.C., there were a group of cave dwellers consisting of a few men, women and children. On one particular morning, a man named Ed “Soon-To-Be-Eaten” Johnson races back into the cave to tell the rest of the group that there are a pack of tigers pacing around outside. This is the conversation that took place verbatim:
Ed “Soon-To-Be-Eaten” Johnson: “Game Over Man, Game Over! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna DO?!?”
Sean “Man-with-a-plan” Leonidas says: “I don’t know what YOU are going to do, but I’m going to sharpen these sticks laying right over here, throw some of these rocks, and have some roasted tiger for dinner tonight.”
Unable to remain calm and think things through, Ed races out of the cave to try to out run the tigers. From above, Sean and the group witness the tigers tear Ed apart limb from limb. The most attractive woman of the group, Vanessa Del Torez, notices how cool and in control Sean is throughout the entire ordeal. Although she does not know what the plan is, she feels safer around him. Vanessa walks up to Sean and ask “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Sean replies “Yes, Stay here and throw these rocks at the tigers to distract them while I charge with my spear.”
Vanessa responds “Ok, but aren’t you scared?”
Sean replies “Yes, but being scared won’t save us, while this 10-foot spear named Painless will.”
Without wasting any time, Sean dashes towards the tigers, weapon in hand while Vanessa lobs stones from the cave. The plan works perfectly.
Later that night, while the cave dwellers are having second and third plates of roasted tiger, Vanessa sits by Sean and says “I really liked how you handled the situation. When everyone else was losing their cool, you were looking for solutions. Where did you learn to think like that?”
Sean replied with the statement “Back home where I’m from, If you don’t see the door, you have to build it.”
Whether its 10,000B.C. or 2010 A.D., when all is said and done, women are still attracted to many of the same things they have always been. A man with a plan who has drive and ambition. Now, more than ever before, women have less and less need to rely on a man for survival. More glass ceilings have shattered, pay is higher (while still not equal), and as a result, their expectations of men have skyrocketed. Nowadays, many women aren’t content waiting in the cave. They want to be out there on the front lines. They are forming their own caves and kicking out the men who don’t measure up. For those of you just joining the conversation, that means our jobs as men got tougher.
What this boils down to is that the woman needs to believe that you have goals and if you aren’t there yet, you are ACTIVELY doing something about it. If you aren’t making the money you think you should, you are actively correcting this situation by either building your resume up or getting a second job. If you aren’t as strong as you’d like to be, instead of sitting there telling people “I need to go to the gym” you tell them “I’ll talk to you after I get back from the gym.” The man that women like is one who can actively solve solutions instead of looking to the next guy.
You don’t have to self-start a Fortune 500 company to show that you have drive. It could be as simple as planning a friday night out, organizing a party, a hike, anything that you can see through to its completion.
In 2010, don’t wait for the girl at the end of the bar or the job hunter to find you. Man up and tackle the situation full speed.