Archive for February, 2010

There’s No Rest Day in Sparta: Interview with Personal Trainer, Whitney M. Cole

February 21, 2010 4 comments

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Fitness has always been an integral part of my life. As early as 5 years old, I have been an active soccer player. During the next ten years, our soccer team traveled throughout the East Coast and won two State Championships. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I discovered the gym and started weight lifting regularly. There are few feelings on this earth that feel better than a solid gym work out, just listen to Arnold Schwarzenegger describe “The Pump” from Pumping Iron (1977) and Yes, I have experienced this:

Our sole purpose in this life is to survive long enough to reproduce (See: Abiogensis). As a result, we are naturally attracted to those individuals who exhibit characteristics that will provide for healthy offspring. Therefore, our ability to maintain a healthy lifestyle is imperative towards increasing our overall attractiveness.

In this interview, we talk about how we can improve our physical body. Whitney M. Cole came recommended through a mutual acquaintance. Her dedication towards living a healthy lifestyle astounded me and I thought it would benefit our readers if they learned from her as I have. Whitney is a certified personal trainer, Pilates practitioner and nutrition counselor. As you can see through this interview, Whitney’s approach to fitness is both practical yet humorous at the same time. In addition to maintaining a blog (, Facebook Site, and Twitter ( , she is the Health and Fitness Editor of Dimensions Weekly, a recognized Fitness Expert on and Health Maven at . Currently, she trains clients locally in Los Angeles and virtually through her website,

As with all interviews, I requested the members of The Unbreakable Man Laws Fan Site for questions they might have for her.

Ethan Bishop:  A sentiment I hear all the time in one form or another is: “I want to get in shape and tone up but I

Whitney M. Cole

HATE the gym!”  When you have clients who feel this way, how do you approach training for these people that wouldn’t be caught dead on a treadmill?

Whitney: I ask a lot of questions to determine why this person hates the gym and make a plan to minimize their distain given the clients’ goals and resources. I train many anxious and time-strapped clients in their home to avoid the crowd. Equipment is not necessary, but I do bring light weights, stability challenging tools, resistance bands, the Bosu, etc. When I hear this from a client who is obviously just uncomfortable and overwhelmed by the gym, I do seek to break this self-imposed limitation. There are so many tools, classes and inspiring people that you get access for the minimal cost of a gym membership, often $30! Learning proficiency with the exercises and equipment breeds comfort and confidence.

For those who feel trapped indoors, I have a blast doing outdoor individual and group training on the beach, Pacific Palisades Park in Santa Monica, along trails like Runyon Canyon in West Hollywood, in playgrounds… We do a lot more body weight only or light weight workouts with Pilates and military bootcamp inspiration, and I also like to add portions of many outdoor sports: running, biking, hiking, surfing, swimming, kayaking…when possible. One of my favorites is a land and water workout I call the “Surf & Turf.” Non gym environments provide unique elements like hills, sand, and water we can use to make the workout more challenging. If there’s a sport they currently or formerly enjoyed, I’ll incorporate moves and motivation similar to what they pull from the field to maintain focus. Clearly outdoor sports and training are weather-specific. Always have a backup plan. A weak man cancels because the weather, an unbreakable man or woman is resourceful.

Ethan Bishop:  Many guys, and probably Americans in general, take better care of their cars than their bodies. Why do you think this is happening? What can we do about it?

Whitney: If the car has significant visible damage, we take it in for repair. To fix a massive dented or splintered glass in the windshield, we know the finest shoulder maximizing, gut minimizing blazer, tailored slacks, wrinkle cream, and Just for Men hair color ain’t gonna help. We each spend thousands every year on these little cheat fixers which to our own detriment, perpetuate our ability to hide what we don’t like about our bodies. The return on most of these investments sucks. Stop. Put your money to work on the real problem. Examine your budget and determine what you can spend on a trainer who will design a customized fitness program for you, even better if they can teach you nutrition too. If you can’t afford a trainer, I still recommend you pony up for a least one session. Be honest that you can only afford one and the trainer will work on developing a program that you can do on your own and ensure you know how to execute proper form before you leave.

Ethan Bishop: Where can I go to get solid weight lifting/workout advice without being bombarded with supplement ads?

Whitney: No shit. I hate those ads. I always picture those overpumped dudes farting their way around the gym as most lab-created supplements are really tough to digest and absorb. That’s probably the hardest question, given everyone starts at such a different place. Sadly, few people even, avid gym-junkies, reading fitness mags actually know how to cue the proper muscles in basic exercises without recruiting dominant muscles, commonly quads, traps, etc. Thus, it’s hard not to write to the lowest common denominator to prevent people injuring themselves. Nail your basics (get a thumbs up from an expert) and then move onto the fancy stuff. Look at videos vs. static pictures to observe the full execution each exercise, and then practice in front of a mirror. Most stuff you find in print will be on the magazine’s web site in video. Never hurts to ask a trainer how your form looks. Assuming you’ve got the basics down, I do like some of Men’s Health and Men’s Fitness articles as they focus on one athlete and the program has been designed by his trainer. Go online to look at the video.

Ethan Bishop: Many of us have 9-5 day jobs or jobs that keep us seated for long periods of time. A problem that I run into is keeping energy levels constant until I can leave work and make it to the gym. What nutritional foods can I use instead of coffee and/or caffeine pills to get me through the day without feeling starved?

Whitney M. Cole, V-Day

Whitney: Consistent fueling throughout the day (so as not to starve or overload). Yup, it requires planning, but that planning becomes clockwork in a week or two. Keep non-perishable snacks (unsalted nuts, peelable citrus fruits, apples and bottles of water) in the car, office, or anywhere you spend time. For items requiring coolness, buy a cool pack if you don’t have access to an office fridge or plan ahead where you can get healthy brain and body fuel nearby. For additional energy and focus, I do recommend drinking unsweetened (avoid real or artificial sugar) green tea (hot or cold) throughout the day switching to decaf as it affects your sleep.

Ethan Bishop: I know you must get this question a lot – How can living healthy improve my sex life? Are there specific exercises or diets you recommend to clients to improve ::ahem:: performance outside of the gym?

Whitney: Affirmative.  A fit and fueled bod amps confidence, improves sensitivity and verbal and nonverbal communication. A natural healthy diet is key to making those workouts work for you in and out of the bedroom, I mean, gym. My clients’ diet, The Arsenal assumes that while man’s food choices have evolved, our digestive systems haven’t. So stick with what was growing or grazing in the field and swimming in the sea:  veggies and fruits, eggs, lean meat and fish, nuts…and extra pounds won’t stick to you, slowing carnal pursuits.

5-6 workouts a week of different types will keep you tightened and toned. Look good in more than just candlelight. Don’t be the meathead that just lifts. Get your butt outside or on a machine for at least three 30min cardio sessions / week. Add interval training to improve speed and recovery time. You need your heart and lungs to be working efficiently. Seriously, add some Pilates in for spice. The increased range of motion will allow you to engage more muscles, even ones you didn’t know you had, in all activities: translation increased metabolism, coordination and add brute power too.

Yes, put fitness, fuel and better sex on your To-Do list!

Vary your workouts to continually challenge your body.

Ethan Bishop: Since you’ve been in California, have you met Ahhnold?

Whitney: Nope, but Maria called yesterday when she was driving.  I hung up. We Californians can’t afford to pay another one of her tickets.

Ethan Bishop: For those of us thinking about hiring a Personal Trainer, what information should we go in there with? Is it realistic to think that we can go in there with a cover of Men’s Fitness or Women’s Health and say, “Make me look like this”?

Genetics plays a heavy role in determining how we look, including how and where we put on muscle and store fat. That being said, there’s a lot in our control and it’s your choice to work out hard (and smart), fuel properly and lead a healthy lifestyle to look and feel your best. In always ask clients to bring a goal photo: of themselves when they “had it” or of a model / celebrity  who’s bod they want. I can quickly confirm that’s realistic, sort out any head cases, or, point out any differences between the client’s and celeb’s body types, noting we’ll strive for the arms, chest, back, abs, butt in the pic and how they can expect their particular body type to respond and look. Again, YOUR BEST!

(Editorial Note: The next part of the interview consisted of questions directly posed by members of the Unbreakable Man Laws Fan site…)

Read more…

Guest Authors: Valentine’s Day Special from Flirtexting Author’s Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz.

February 14, 2010 Leave a comment

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The previous blog interviews featuring Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, the girls who wrote Flirtexting, have consistently been amongst the most popular post on the blog! For Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be a great idea to bring them back for a Special Unbreakable Guest Post! They asked all of their hot girlfriends to tell them what they love about Flirtexting, and here’s what they said…

(Be sure to enter the Flirtexting Valentine’s Day Special on their blog to win a Free Autographed Copy of Flirtexting! Follow the girls on Twitter (@Flirtexting),and check out the Facebook Fan Site, Flirtexting.Debra and Olivia will be speaking on MTV tonight @9pm EST on the Dangers of Sexting!)


Be sure to check out their book, Flirtexting!

“I love it when a guy texts me a funny quote from a movie we watched together the night before.” – Vanessa

“I love a simple goodmorning text just to let me know you’re thinking about me. “Goodmorning sleepyhead” is all it takes to keep me smiling throughout the day.” – Jessica

“I love when a guy brings back a joke or debate from a date a day or two later. For instance: Say we had a playful debate on what constitutes a fast food restaurant. The next day he sends me a text that says:”FYI: ‘insert definition of fast food’ – Websters doesn’t lie, sounds like you owe me lunch!” – Natalie, 25

“I love when a guy makes a definitive plan to get together – posed in a charming way, ie: “You and me, Raoul’s 9:30 tonight.  Say yes?”- Chloe, 24

“My favorite texts are the ones I get from a boy I just parted ways with that say something complimentary to let me know I’m still on their mind: “Did I mention how sexy you looked today?  Good to see you pretty girl”- Janet, 19

“I love it when a guy texts me out of the blue, just to tell me he is thinking of me or he went somewhere and something he saw or heard, etc., reminded him of me.  Or that he’s missing my smile.  Cheesy yes…but makes me feel good.” –Stefani, 33

“I like it when a boy makes fun of me via text – but is genuinely kidding. ” –Candice, 27

“Things I love is texting a witty joke right after my date drops me off or leaves my casa…it lets me know he had an amazing time and is still thinking of me.” –Rene, 26

“I LOVE when boys text you a compliment….like…”You looked so pretty last night…” or “I had so much fun with you yesterday”….it lets you know that they are sitting at their desks at work….DREAMING of you!” – Courtney, 26

“I love receiving texts hinting to inside moments shared together; it makes me feel special.” – Nisha, 24

Guest Author: “We Are All Just Cro-Magnons with iPods” by Pete Waters of

February 10, 2010 Leave a comment

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Ethan’s talked a lot on this blog about what forms of behavior women find attractive in men, and given some great advice to readers on how to maximize those behaviors and make them ingrained.  But the next question is, what are the roots of that attractiveness perceived by women?  In other words, why do women find these behaviors attractive?

"How's a girl supposed to properly accessorize if Apple won't make a bronto-hide iPod cover?" (Raquel Welch in "One Million Years BC")

Perhaps because each of us knows innately what attracts us as men, we don’t think enough about what really attracts   women to men.  This is unfortunate, because what attracts men to women most (physical beauty) is not what primarily attracts women to men.  (Which is lucky for most men… we actually have it way better than the girls.)

Consider:  in 1992, TV Guide ran its annual “Sexiest Man and Woman on Television” survey.  The female winner was Cindy Crawford, then 26 years old, who was hosting House of Style on MTV at the time. The male winner:  Patrick Stewart, who at that time was playing Captain Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

To which the common response is:  say what?  Most men (certainly) and most women (probably) could understand Cindy Crawford being selected, but Stewart at the time was 53, Lex-Luthor  bald, and not exactly muscular.   How is it that women could find him the Sexiest Man on TV?

The answer:  STATUS.

Assume that our boy-pursues-girl behavior (which is a subset of mating behavior) is bred into us by millions of years of evolution. The 10,000 years or so since we were tribal hunter-gatherers  has not been long enough to re-wire that genetic programming. Thus, we are innately attracted to the same characteristics in the opposite sex as our distant ancestors were. We may have better hygiene, medicine and technology, but despite everything our egos tell us about sophistication and modernity, when it comes to The Merry Chase, we’re really just Cro-Magnons with iPods.

In that environment, to maximize the probability of offspring surviving, women were subconsciously drawn to men who could protect them and their babies.  Because of this programming, which is deep inside the “firmware” programming of the female brain and still in operation, modern women are still attracted to big strong hunks who can throw a spear, provide mastodon meat, and kill the saber-toothed tiger.  But they are EVEN MORE ATTRACTED to the chieftain of the tribe who all those young strapping spear-throwers answer to.  This is why women are (sometimes despite themselves) attracted to powerful men – which in modern society often translates to wealthy men.  It’s NOT about the money – it’s about the STATUS that that man has.  (Remember, back in the 60’s Henry Kissinger dated Jill St. John. That “seductiveness of power” is also why women stay with jerks who abuse them.)

This also explains Stewart’s ranking as the Sexiest Man on TV – women were probably voting for his character, Captain Picard, “chieftain of the Enterprise”.  Picard doesn’t HAVE to be the tallest guy with the best hair, or the best fighter – those guys work for him.  He can simply say, “Number One, Mr. Worf, defend that female while I finish reading MacBeth”, and they answer “Aye, aye, Captain,” and hop to it. A woman who is “the chieftain’s woman” has an army ready to defend her and her babies.  It doesn’t matter that the chieftain’s best days of personally throwing spears are behind him – having a supply of strong young minions to throw dozens of spears is better than that.

This principle is why one of the “Four Signs of a High-Status Male” that AskRomeo discusses in our seminars and bootcamps is being a leader.  Women are uncontrollably drawn to a man in charge.  It doesn’t have to be in a life-or-death situation – merely solving a modern problem of scoring a table in a crowded bar, or getting a bunch of drunks safely home, will gain you points. (However, saving the Earth from an alien invasion would probably work also.)

"You and I are going to be so money with the babes after this." (Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day)

Along the same lines, another of the four signs of a high-status male is being a protector of loved ones.  This is what enables a poor man to still fire a woman’s subliminal “protect me” gene regardless of not ranking high on the modern status-O-meter scale of wealth.  This explains why firefighters – who don’t make a lot of bank, and might even be unpaid volunteers – consistently rank at or near the top of women’s list of the sexiest professions.  Women see a firefighter, and somewhere, probably deep down, something says to her, “That is a man who will run into a burning building to save my babies.”

As readers of the Unbreakable Man Laws know, certain alpha-male behaviors like leadership and (especially) confidence simply work in the boy-pursues-girl environment.  But the reason they work is because they subliminally communicate status.

So, how does the average guy develop social status if you’re not rich, powerful, or talented, or named Kennedy?  The good news is, social status is a phantasm – it’s all in the head.  By that I mean: it’s in your head, their heads, and her head.  To have complete control, you can simply create it.  How do I do that? That’s another post.

(BTW:  according to his bio on Wikipedia, Patrick Stewart’s second wife was 18 years his junior.  After their divorce, he dated a woman 40 years his junior for four years, and now, at age 69, he’s dating a 31-year-old who is younger than his daughter.  And then there’s Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones… Jack Nicholson and Lara Flynn Boyle… Tiger Woods and a cast of thousands…  Do I need to go on?  Nah.  Didn’t think so.)

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