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Man Law #46 – Women are like the Police – They don’t know what you did, but they know you did something…
Women are waiting for you to slip up and do something dumb and when that happens, she’ll be right there. If she knows you leave work at 5:00pm…and its 9:00pm and you STILL haven’t gotten back to her…YOU BETTER HAVE YOUR ALIBI READY…Depending on the woman, you may even need a lawyer…
People will generally do whatever they think they can get away with...If the woman is from Jersey, you can substitute the baton for a full-sized Bat...In fact, never, ever, get caught by a woman from Jersey unless you are planning on moving to another city and entering the Witness Protection Program...
BE WARNED, that the second you open up the gates of conversation, she may be ready to start the prosecution…Once she does, interrupt her and say “Hold UP…Talk to my Lawyer…”…This will only buy you a few seconds before she starts with the pounding that is about to take place…so make sure you have your alibi in hand and ready…
Several forums on-line have been dedicated to the Female Snoop, For a good laugh, check out the following websites:
- Women Online – Why Do Women Snoop
Now, I will be the first to say that not all men are honest about absolutely everything so there is REASON for women to believe in certain situations that the man is up to no good. If she ask you how big you are…and you confidently tell her “9-inches and counting”, this might immediately set off some red flags in her mind and you might have some explaining to do.
However, as we have stated in previous Man Laws, unless explicitly stated by both parties that you are in an exclusive relationship, neither you nor the woman owe each other an explanation. To do so is simply being courteous.
Even more important than being honest is maintaining your integrity with her. If you are actively seeing other women, you may be surprised that she is O.K. with that aspect of your lifestyle if you are completely honest and open with her upfront and she doesn’t discover it through a third party channel.
Man Law #45 – Float like a Butterfly…Sting Like a Bee. Know when to Act Decisively.
Challenge her. You always want to be JUST out of reach. Never forget that you appear more attractive because she can’t catch you…Float…Keep your distance. This isn’t game playing, it’s survival…If the two of you have gone out a few times and you always initiate the conversation (either through phone or text) and she NEVER does, back off…make sure she initiates a few times…most likely she’s thinking that you forgot all about her if you ignore her…Is it cruel? Yes. Does it work? Double Yes.
Don’t let her turn you into a boy toy, she’ll throw you out as soon as a real man comes along and she’s wondering why he didn’t ask her out last Friday…Float…and when the opportunity presents itself, act decisively…
When I first posted this Man Law, the feedback generated from women was almost overwhelmingly negative. Whether you call it “Floating like a Butterfly” or “cat-string theory” the same basic concepts apply – she will get bored if you don’t play with her. Case in point, observe the video below:
Now, whether or not you believe in the theory is irrelevant, the basics of “cat-string theory” are thus…Adam Corolla of the late MTV “LoveLine” said it best: You try to pet the cat, and the cat jumps up on the fridge. You act disinterested in it, start watching TV, and the cat rubs against your leg and wants you to scratch its neck. Why are women like this? We may never know…I thought the chimpanzee was our closest relative but you don’t hear anyone call it “chimp-theory”…
The basics of “Float like a Butterfly” are the same. Its basically a way of “flirting” with her without allowing yourself to be “caught”. She might act like she hates it because she wants what she can’t have. If you give her what she wants, she may be “placated” for the day or week, but ultimately, this will do nothing for your cause.
Act Decisively. Never ASK for a Kiss, She'll Say No. If you get turned down, don't sweat it. Make sure she sees that her decision has not changed your demeanor.
Floating and acting decisively in a nutshell means that when she plays her games to determine if you are interested in her or not, you “play” with her. If she flirts with you at the bar, you casually flirt back, without making any “moves” and thus, showing all your cards. If she is flirting back with you and you are “floating”, making a direct, bold, no-holds bar approach…will work. You have to trust yourself on this…you can even go as far as saying “I’m going to hold you like this (Editorial Note: then hold her), and kiss you like this… ”
If she responds “You are going to kiss me?!?” with puppy dog dinner bowl eyes…Look at her…and act decisively…
Man Law #44 – ‘Man Talk’ – Disagree without being Disagreeable.
This law applies to both men AND women. There are ways to disagree without insulting the character of the person or belittling their ideas. State your opinion, and do your best to listen to hers. This goes hand in hand with the concept of “Agreeing to Disagree”. The end result of a disagreement using this method is that both you and her end on good terms. Don’t call it quits because you want to see “District 9” and she wants to sit home and watch “Little Miss Sunshine” again…Only call it quits if she wants you to sit through “The Notebook” or “Twilight”….
The really crazy thing about arguing with her is that even if you two come to an immediate agreement or compromise, she may not feel better right away. Even if you win the argument, chances are you will pay for winning in some way…
95% of the time you can throw LOGICAL Arguments right out the window...
Again, when you first start seeing each other (pre-official relationship) , you really shouldn’t be getting into that many or any arguments… If your choice of where to go on a date ends in a heated battle, call it quits on this one no matter how hot she is and refer to Man Law #29 – Be able to say “Next” and move on. If she’s difficult at the beginning, chances are she won’t be getting any better…
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