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Man Law #44 – ‘Man Talk’ – Disagree without being Disagreeable.
This law applies to both men AND women. There are ways to disagree without insulting the character of the person or belittling their ideas. State your opinion, and do your best to listen to hers. This goes hand in hand with the concept of “Agreeing to Disagree”. The end result of a disagreement using this method is that both you and her end on good terms. Don’t call it quits because you want to see “District 9” and she wants to sit home and watch “Little Miss Sunshine” again…Only call it quits if she wants you to sit through “The Notebook” or “Twilight”….
The really crazy thing about arguing with her is that even if you two come to an immediate agreement or compromise, she may not feel better right away. Even if you win the argument, chances are you will pay for winning in some way…
95% of the time you can throw LOGICAL Arguments right out the window...
Again, when you first start seeing each other (pre-official relationship) , you really shouldn’t be getting into that many or any arguments… If your choice of where to go on a date ends in a heated battle, call it quits on this one no matter how hot she is and refer to Man Law #29 – Be able to say “Next” and move on. If she’s difficult at the beginning, chances are she won’t be getting any better…
Man Law #43 – When dating a new woman, Take it one day at a time. NEVER plan a date more time in advance than the length you have already been dating.
Only plan a date in advance as LONG as you've known her. Don't plan the Honeymoon before you've been engaged...
If you just met the girl a week ago, do NOT plan to take her to that new show or comedy act coming to town four weeks in the future. TOO MUCH CAN HAPPEN. She can meet someone else, you can meet someone else. This shows too much interest on your part and the woman will view you as easily won for doing so little to get your attention. It can be hard to resist this urge especially if the two of you hit it off really early. It’s been my experience that the faster things heat up, the faster they will cool down if you have not spent some time getting to know each other a bit. Whether the two of you have already escalated into a physical relationship or not, do not get overly excited and start planning the names of your children and the locations of your wedding. She might think its funny at first, but to herself, she may very well be thinking “This guy barely knows me and he thinks I am this way, wait until he sees me without make up on or when I’m in one of my moods…then he’ll leave.” If things escalate quickly, you want to step back and spend some time doing the simpler things.
Only plan 1 or 2 weeks max in advance after meeting her...If you already know you want to take her thats great, wait a week or so before asking her to go out with you...
Gentleman, we’ve all been there and I know I’ve been there plenty of times. This used to happen a lot in college where you’d meet someone, things would heat up, you go out a few times, she tells you when her birthday is (…which is 4 months away) , and you tell her that you are going to buy her a new cell phone because the one she has now is out of style. SLOW DOWN. If you haven’t even known her for four weeks and you are planning to do something for her four months from now, you are moving way too fast. This is a trap and an easy way to get into the “LETS JUST BE FRIENDS ZONE.” Play it safe the first few weeks and possibly months. Only plan 1-2 weeks in advance if the two of you are going out on dates.
Now, this applies only to one-on-one situations where you will be going out only with her. When it comes to a group setting or a party that is happening in the future, its better to elude to an event that you are hosting and then as it approaches, invite her to that event. If you have not lost interest, invite her to the event. A lot can happen in a short time, you might meet someone and so could she, so don’t get your hopes up.
Man Law #42 – Understand Arrogant Cockiness vs Unbreakable Confidence!
There is a very thin line between cockiness and confidence and it is so easy to step over that many men are not really aware of when they do,
The fist pump is cockiness at its finest...
including myself. The best explanation for the difference between confidence and cockiness that I have heard is that confidence takes into account the feelings of others, while cockiness does not.
A quick Google search on “Cocky Men” brought dozens of articles and debates where men ask women why they love jerks/cocky men. Listed below are only a few of the sites:
- Why Do Women Dislike Arrogant Cocky Men
- Women: Do You Find Confident and Cocky Alpha –Male Type of Men Attractive
- An Article on Cocky Funny – Why Cocky and Funny Attracts Women Young and Old
There are even sites by women dedicated to “Cocky Men”
It’s not entirely our fault that men are encouraged by other men to be cocky. We learned it on the playground, the game field, and the board room. Our naturally competitive nature and desire to be the best makes it easy for us to fill our own heads with delusions of grandeur. cockiness is a defense mechanism to overcompensate for insecurities we might experience when challenged. Confidence relies on past successful experiences where we consciously determined the outcome from the start.
I have yet to find a person who can state that they are 100% Confident in any given situation. What I have found have been great actors. I do believe that the way out of insecurity is to recognize insecurity for what it is and keep it from falling into a downward spiral of failure where one “mistake” or slip up snowballs into a disaster.
Timeless classics such as the Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Gallwey focus on staying mentally strong and overcoming fear and nervousness. Don’t write off this book as only being for Tennis. This masterpiece comes highly recommended in many different fields and came to me as I aspired to become a better musician and dealing with performance anxiety.
The women can't get enough of this guy...Whenever I ask whats an example of a confident guy, before I can finish the sentence "George Clooney" pops out... Unbreakable Confidence...
It seems that every woman has their own personal upper limit threshold of toleration when it comes to confidence and cockiness. Once you cross that line, she will disqualify you and most likely write you off as arrogant. While all women seem to want a confident man, a mixture of both confident and cocky self-dinegrating humor seem to form the killer formula.
Unbreakable confidence doesn’t mean that nothing bothers you, it simply means that no matter what the outcome, the result will not change your state of mind.
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