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Man Law #42 – Understand Arrogant Cockiness vs Unbreakable Confidence!


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There is a very thin line between cockiness and confidence and it is so easy to step over that many men are not really aware of when they do,

The fist pump is Cockyness at its finest...

The fist pump is cockiness at its finest...

including myself. The best explanation for the difference between confidence and cockiness that I have heard is that confidence takes into account the feelings of others, while cockiness does not.

A quick Google search on “Cocky Men” brought dozens of articles and debates where men ask women why they love jerks/cocky men. Listed below are only a few of the sites:

There are even sites by women dedicated to “Cocky Men”

It’s not entirely our fault that men are encouraged by other men to be cocky. We learned it on the playground, the game field, and the board room. Our naturally competitive nature and desire to be the best makes it easy for us to fill our own heads with delusions of grandeur. cockiness is a defense mechanism to overcompensate for insecurities we might experience when challenged. Confidence relies on past successful experiences where we consciously determined the outcome from the start.

I have yet to find a person who can state that they are 100% Confident in any given situation.  What I have found have been great actors. I do believe that the way out of insecurity is to recognize insecurity for what it is and keep it from falling into a downward spiral of failure where one “mistake” or slip up snowballs into a disaster.

Timeless classics such as the Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Gallwey focus on staying mentally strong and overcoming fear and nervousness.  Don’t write off this book as only being for Tennis.  This masterpiece comes highly recommended in many different fields and came to me as I aspired to become a better musician and dealing with performance anxiety.

The women can't get enough of this guy...Whenever I ask whats an example of a confident guy, before I can finish the sentece "George Clooney" pops out...

The women can't get enough of this guy...Whenever I ask whats an example of a confident guy, before I can finish the sentence "George Clooney" pops out... Unbreakable Confidence...

It seems that every woman has their own personal upper limit threshold of toleration when it comes to confidence and cockiness.  Once you cross that line, she will disqualify you and most likely write you off as arrogant. While all women seem to want a confident man, a mixture of both confident and cocky self-dinegrating humor seem to form the killer formula.

Unbreakable confidence doesn’t mean that nothing bothers you, it simply means that no matter what the outcome, the result will not change your state of mind.

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  1. labellegirl
    February 24, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Well I think its great if a guy is confident, but a lot of guys over do it. My problem as a female is that I do have unbreakable confidence and I’m ambitious and a lot of men don’t like it. I guess its not “feminine” or it makes them feel insecure, but I’m not about to turn into one of those self hating women who always need to nitpick their flaws in the mirror and need to be validated by a man constantly. Guys should keep their cockiness in check, as well as accept a womans confidence in this increasingly equal gender role society.

  1. March 13, 2012 at 4:45 pm
  2. May 2, 2015 at 10:34 pm
  3. June 28, 2015 at 6:52 am
  4. August 14, 2015 at 2:02 pm

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