Man Law #42 – Understand Arrogant Cockiness vs Unbreakable Confidence!
There is a very thin line between cockiness and confidence and it is so easy to step over that many men are not really aware of when they do,
including myself. The best explanation for the difference between confidence and cockiness that I have heard is that confidence takes into account the feelings of others, while cockiness does not.
A quick Google search on “Cocky Men” brought dozens of articles and debates where men ask women why they love jerks/cocky men. Listed below are only a few of the sites:
- Why Do Women Dislike Arrogant Cocky Men
- Women: Do You Find Confident and Cocky Alpha –Male Type of Men Attractive
- An Article on Cocky Funny – Why Cocky and Funny Attracts Women Young and Old
There are even sites by women dedicated to “Cocky Men”
It’s not entirely our fault that men are encouraged by other men to be cocky. We learned it on the playground, the game field, and the board room. Our naturally competitive nature and desire to be the best makes it easy for us to fill our own heads with delusions of grandeur. cockiness is a defense mechanism to overcompensate for insecurities we might experience when challenged. Confidence relies on past successful experiences where we consciously determined the outcome from the start.
I have yet to find a person who can state that they are 100% Confident in any given situation. What I have found have been great actors. I do believe that the way out of insecurity is to recognize insecurity for what it is and keep it from falling into a downward spiral of failure where one “mistake” or slip up snowballs into a disaster.
Timeless classics such as the Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Gallwey focus on staying mentally strong and overcoming fear and nervousness. Don’t write off this book as only being for Tennis. This masterpiece comes highly recommended in many different fields and came to me as I aspired to become a better musician and dealing with performance anxiety.
It seems that every woman has their own personal upper limit threshold of toleration when it comes to confidence and cockiness. Once you cross that line, she will disqualify you and most likely write you off as arrogant. While all women seem to want a confident man, a mixture of both confident and cocky self-dinegrating humor seem to form the killer formula.
Unbreakable confidence doesn’t mean that nothing bothers you, it simply means that no matter what the outcome, the result will not change your state of mind.