Archive
Man Law #53 – Make the Executive Decision
Make the Decision, Stand By It, and Move On. Waiting will do NOTHING for you except make you nervous and cause missed opportunities.
Few things are more important for a man to be able to do than to make a decision, go forward, and stick with it. There will never be a RIGHT time. All you can do is make the best decision you can make with the information and resources you have available at the time of the decision. I’ve observed that what has worked best for me is to gather the facts, if outside advice might be needed, speak to the cabinet members (See Man Law #52 – Maintain a Cabinet, weigh both the pros and cons, decide to take action, and make a quick and deliberate decision. I have no problem re-calibrating the decision after I make it if I notice that I need to adjust slightly to the left or to the right. The important part is simply MAKING the Decision. Waiting and Idleness, I have found can be detrimental and cause too many missed opportunities. Not only for what you are deciding on, but the other situations that are constantly occurring that require a decision to be made. It’s been my experience that waiting indefinitely can turn into a self-prophecy of failure. It’s better to make a decision and be wrong than to never make the decision.
When approaching someone new at a venue, what works best for me is to NOT think about what you are going to say or what to do…In fact, clear your mind of all negative thoughts of self-doubt. The more I sit, wait, overly-analyze the situation, the more likely it will be for me to simply freeze and do nothing. Nerves will get the best of me.
Part of the reason why I use Kennedy as an example is specifically for his actions during the Cuban Missile Crisis. If you have not had a chance to see the movie, Thirteen Days, you should. Kennedy was faced with a decision that would ultimately affect every person in the United States. He had little time to decide, and had a variety of different competing interest that he was presented with…This movie shows multiple perspectives during this turbulent time in American History…
It’s a good idea here to PICK someone whose decisions you respect and talk with them on how they make them. Emulate there decision making style and the process they go through until you have it under your belt. It might not be surprising to learn that they don’t know how they come to the decisions that they do as it is done by instinct and by their unconscious. After you really master something, the decision making process WILL become much quicker. You’ll know when to shoot versus when to pass… You won’t always score, but the more experience you have, the more often you will be on the winning side. Your sensitivity will be raised and you will be more aware of when to act, how to act, and how to come out on top over and over. Be sure to avoid “Paralysis through Analysis”. For some more information on the decision- making process, be sure to check out this blog-post on Being Decisive. It’s very well-written and thorough.
By being a DECISIVE man, you will do better with women, have better success and have happier relationships. This does not mean deciding FOR her, it does mean taking her opinions into account and presenting a decision that will make both of you satisfied…
Man Law #52 – Maintain a Cabinet
Since the dawn of the United States of America, the elected President has always maintained a cabinet of Senior Elected Officials. These officials are experts in their field and give the President advice, differing perspective, arguments and a course of action.
You shall be no different.
This might look like a picture of President Kennedy after he was elected...its not, he was planning his marriage to Jackie...
Think of your cabinet as your group of personally elected Officials who represent expertise in a certain area that you might seek to grow in – be it finances, sports, women, career or a personal hobby. Unlike the Cabinet shown in the picture, these positions can and should be filled with both males and females that you trust. These guys are in your corner and rooting for you. You respect and appreciate the opinions of the people in your cabinet and despite not always agreeing with them, you trust their insight.
President Kennedy is renowned for consulting his advisers in times of crisis. Regardless of your political affiliation, the idea of a Presidential Cabinet was recognized as a very smart thing to have. In the movie, Thirteen Days, President Kennedy maintained close contact with his younger brother Robert Kennedy (U.S. Attorney General) and Kenny O’Donnell (Special Assistant to the President) who he met with to discuss such issues as the Cuban Missile Crisis. We can only hope that pursuing the woman you met at the bar last week is not as serious, however, planning a good second date with someone who might be your future wife – just may be!
Whilst taking in the opinion of your cabinet, you want to retain the ability to make the executive decision. You need to be aware that at first, if you are in an area where you are a complete amateur, you want to listen to those who have expertise. However, do not fall victim to blindly following and listening to every piece of advice they give. Maintain a critical eye. They may not know all of the little pieces of information that you deemed unimportant yet might be essential to making a wise decision.
If we are not careful, the more confident we grow the less likely we are to ASK people for help, advice, assistance, etc. This turns into cockiness which to both men and women is deathly in relationships. Both men and women are victims of acting too cocky or assuming that they should not have to seek out help or advice. Men are notoriously known for doing this and this is a fault that could prove disastrous. You always want to have a group of people who you trust, YET retain the ability to listen to your own inner voice and trust your instinct.
Many women expect you to act DECISIVELY when you deal with them…they find this characteristic in men to be extremely attractive. While acting decisively will be discussed at a later time, many men need to be familiar with how a woman might present a situation where she expects YOU to make the decision. She won’t verbally tell you to decide, she’ll simply run down fifteen different options which will drive you insane since this behavior is baffling to most men…Maintain a Cabinet and retain the ability to make the Executive Decision…
Man Law #51 – Negotiate a Relationship like you Negotiate a Salary, State your Boundaries and Never Settle for Less than You’re Worth.
It’s imperative when you first start dating someone new that you set certain boundaries for what you are willing and not willing to do. These boundaries don’t need to be set in rock solid stone, however, its been my experience that if you find yourself compromising over and over and you tend to get the shorter end of the stick, than this is not a woman you want to get involved with. Think of a boundary as an invisible fence – she doesn’t need to know exactly where it is, she just needs to know if she crosses it. The men that have no boundaries will find that they are too often put into the friend zone when dating women. These are the guys that she is interested in at first, and quickly realizes that she can walk all over, thus losing any attractiveness to the guy that she once had. Despite any games she may play with you to test these boundaries, you need to retain your composure, reinforce the surrounding perimeter, and if necessary, walk from the deal…
An attractive woman might attempt to strong arm your interactions. She might try to state the conditions that she will go out with you. It's for this reason that you need to keep cool, and walk from a deal if its clear you are on the losing end...
It’s alright if she expects to be treated like a Queen, but you better be sure that she is treating YOU as the King. And most likely, she’s not treating you any different than all the other guys that meet her initially, especially at first and she has nothing invested in the relationship. Its for this very reason that you need to take things slowly especially with respect to your finances, and not spend a lot of money on her with hopes of impressing her. Think of each week that passes by as an increase in the amount you are willing to spend on her. She will be more impressed by your ingenuity and resourcefulness in planning a date rather than the AMOUNT that you spend on it. The enjoyment the two of you experience together needs to be independent of the amount of money you find yourself spending.
While this law applies to men just as easily as to women, I find that far too often a guy will overly compensate for a woman he likes and as a result, she will lose interest and either keep him on a rotation of men that she is currently dating without really “elevating” him above the pack OR worse (and yes, this always seems to be the case), throws him in the Friend Zone. An excellent example is a movie I saw last week after years and years of women saying that I should read the book and/or see the movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You“. Many of us know people who have had dating/relationship encounters such as the ones that occur in the movie. Scarlett Johannson’s character plays a woman who is infatuated with a married man. Even though she KNOWS he is in a relationship, this only increases his attractiveness to her. Meanwhile, she finds a guy that she used to date , Conor Barry, who is portrayed as a successful Real Estate man and would potentially be a more sustainable and compatible partner, as unsuitable and no matter how hard he tries, she just is not that into him. After realizing her infatuation with the married man will never go anywhere, she (reluctantly?) relents to Conor’s advances, and becomes his girlfriend. She ultimately uses Conor to fill in the gaps while the guy she actually likes is attempting to form (or maintain a life with his wife depending on your viewpoint) . In the end, she relegates Conor to the friend zone after he hoped to have her move in with him to a house he was planning to buy. Tough Break Conor.
Just about all of us have had the shades pulled over our eyes when we were seriously attracted to someone…We saw what we wanted to see. When we really like someone, he/she could do just about anything and we will rationalize it over and over. We’ll most likely downplay the signs of non-interest, and exaggerate the signs of interest. In almost any and every situation where I have questioned signs of non-interest to the extent that I sought out another person’s interpretation, these relationships did not work out. How far she stretches you out of your comfort zone is directly proportional to how hard the breakup will be for you in the end.
It’s for that reason that you need to set certain boundaries right from the start…It doesn’t mean black and white, take it or leave it, it simply means that if a compromise to her is 80/20…and you are the 20, you need to cut your losses and move on. You’ll be happier you left the situation and more than likely, your buddies have been telling you this all along and you simply didn’t want to realize it. If you find yourself consistently compromising your own well being in order to satisfy her, than cut your losses, move on and never settle for less than you are worth….
Unbreakable International Fans!
The Unbreakable Man Laws 
Comments!