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Man Law #35 – A Woman Practices Selective Forgetfulness…

September 2, 2009 5 comments

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A woman can remember the shirt designer and outfit that you wore when you first met her on Friday, July 24, 2002, but still forgets one and ONLY one item at your place when she sleeps over…. and they call us the forgetful ones!

She may look innocent but she is strategically planning where she can accidently "forget" one of her things in your room!

She may look innocent but she is strategically planning where she can accidently "forget" one of her things in your room!

I first noticed this pattern in college and I wrote it off as something that only young women tend to do…An earring here, a necklace there… Now, a few years later, women are still doing the exact same thing! Why? Is this a territorial thing? Is this so you are left “wondering” what she is up to? Is it so she has a reason to come back or you HAVE to see her again?

I actually LIKE when women do this, but I’ll be damned if I understand WHY they do it…Women, don’t let your male counterparts suffer like this…shed some light here! Explanation GREATLY appreciated…

Man Law #34 – “Man Talk” – If she states that women are SIMPLE and NOT COMPLICATED…she is either a)not a real women or b) has no clue what she is talking about and what is really going on in the minds of men.

September 2, 2009 2 comments

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Women seem to have this idea that based on what she might say to another women that a man should instinctively know the correct response… Has your girlfriend or a girl you’ve been dating ever asked the following “How do I look in this?”…

The captions displayed above these peoples heads are not that far off from reality...Reality could be far, far worse!

The captions displayed above these peoples heads are not that far off from reality...Reality is far, far worse!

Most men know not to simply answer “Fine”…that will get you an annoyed look from her.  A woman would point out how the dress makes her shoulders look and how the color makes her look thinner…I’d say that most men do not readily know or understand these “fashion” tips..

In this case, women should follow the Jersey Girl example…chances are, if she has something on her mind, YOU are going to know it…whether you like it or not…

Man Law #33 – Thou Shalt Not Be Tamed by Thy Woman…Keep your Houdini skills sharp…

September 1, 2009 4 comments

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True story. While working at a local retail store, lets call it “Best Buy”, there were dozens of times that men would bring up 10-15 DVDs for purchase. After being told the total, these men would literally switch credit cards and state “The wife doesn’t see this one…” and go on to chuckle… At first, I thought this was a fluke, but time after time, men of every country, race, and from all walks of life, would do the exact. same. thing.

Here is my rationalization for why this occurs and how it started to happen. In her eyes, before you met her, you were an absolute mess – a hopeless drunk, you stayed out all night with the boys, went to strip clubs, were in a terrible financial situation, and things were only getting worse.  When she came into your life, everything improved starting with your clothing.  You now have a great job, ready to start a family and coach Little League Football, all thanks to her… After much home improvement, you are the respectable gentleman that she can show off to her girlfriends. Yes, you have been tamed from her perspective and without her, you would fall into the drunken abyss and not know how to take care of yourself…

Having a separate credit card is one of the only “freedoms” you now have.

There is a reason why marriage is described (from the Man’s point of view) as the ball and chains… Speaking from personal experience, monogamous relationships WILL have a slightly constricting effect on the man.  A good woman, or rather, a good woman for YOU will make this constriction on your lifestyle and personal freedom worth it. The benefits will outweigh the sacrifices you make.

You aren't going A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E...

You aren't going A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E...

However, here is where things get tricky – many women (not all) will either unconsciously or consciously (this could be the subject of much debate) restrict your freedom BEFORE you’ve entered into an exclusive relationship with her…This is not altogether a bad thing, but just be warned ahead of time that this has the potential to get worse…much worse.  Pay attention to any hunches that you get…if you feel like you need to explain what you did last Friday or who you went out with a few nights ago, she may be getting jealous.

If you find yourself on the defense after being asked questions such as “Where are you?”, “Who’d you go out with last night?”, “Why didn’t you get back to me?”, and so on, you have already descended into the trap.  At this time, you can picture it as she is molding the iron key to fit the ball that she has already placed on you…If anything physical has happened between the two of you (and it better if she’s asking you these types of questions), you are as good as gone.  For, if you expect to continue seeing her, you better have an answer that she is satisfied with…

Make sure that she respects your time and privacy.  You may truly like her and are not into the game playing that might be  inadvertently happening but you need to remember that you do not owe her an explanation. Unless you have flaked on plans that you made in the first place, or you didn’t call when you said you would, don’t feel like you are obligated to tell her who you took to the Killers concert, or the romantic chick flick movie last Thursday. Stand your ground, and plead the fifth until you are exclusive with her and respect her privacy at the same time…

An Interesting Fable from Indian Folklore

“I have come to assess the situation of my creation.
I want men to form two queues – one queue for
men who dominated their women, and the other
for men who were dominated by their women.
Further, I want all the women to go away so that no
man and woman can talk while the queues are formed”

When God came back after a while, the women are gone
and there are two queues. The queue for the men who
were dominated by their women is 100 miles long.
In the other queue, there is only one man.

God got angry and said, “You men should be ashamed
of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you
are not using what you can. Look at the only
one of my sons who stood up in the other queue
and made me proud. Learn from him!”

The men did not give reply.

“Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the
only one in this queue?”

The man replied, “I do not know sir! My wife told me
to stand here.”

There is so much to say on this topic that it could be the topic of study for a dissertation.

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