“Men don’t grow up, their toys get more expensive.” – Anonymous
Man Law #85 has been brewing for a few years since before the inception of Man Law. The idea originated back in 2003 and even prior to that, I noticed the behavior amongst women, no matter what their age. Whether they were 9 or 90, I noticed strikingly similar characteristics.
Now brace yourself. Ladies, if you are easily offended, be sure to skip the next paragraph, or just click here.
For those of you still with us, the working title of this post was “No matter how old she is, there’s a 7 year old spoiled-little-princess-celebrating-HER-birthday trying to get out…” You have to ask yourself, what made me come to this conclusion? The “fact” that you hear out of the mouths of women is that “girls mature faster than boys.” For the most part, that is true. But lets clarify what we mean by maturity!
What women are really saying is that, girls become SOCIALLY mature faster than boys – they are more aware of social situations, feelings people exhibit when under duress (important), and patterns that make them (women) appear more situated in social settings. Perhaps it’s because they feel that more people are watching them and are proactively making sure they are good from an early age.
Guys just don’t care.
My parents love to tell their friends, co-workers, and anyone who will listen, how I was kicked out of Montessori school at an early age. Who knew that girl’s arms weren’t meant to be bitten? I mean its not common sense is it? Those fingers look like juicy little sausages.
Moving on. Right through Elementary school, I saw the Principal so often I was pretty much on a first name basis with her. I still don’t know ANY girls sent to the Principal’s office during Elementary School but if you were one of them, please e-mail me at EthanBishop@unbreakablemanlaws.com .
Originally, this post was to focus more on how women can be in their late 80s and still act the whiny brat of their youths and if you don’t believe me, hang out at a nursing home for a few hours. Is this a bad thing?
But here’s the idea, a woman who acts this way around you, is giving you a good sign. She is looking for YOU to be the man – ruthlessly decisive, stern, powerful, unmoving, strong with a subtle, perhaps even gentle, touch. This is a very good position to be in because if she is letting down her guard and allowing you to see her vulnerability she is giving you the chance to step forward, and be the guy that society has been saying she’s been looking for since she was still in diapers. This isn’t the woman that is seen giving keynote speeches in front of hundreds of people or at the head of the table in the boardroom. This is the woman she allows YOU to see. Since most men need visible audible or physical cues in order to proceed, here is what you listen for – a higher pitched voice (for the musicians out there, think an octave (or five octaves) higher if she is REALLY putting on the helpless girl front).
Gentlemen, if this situation happens to you, first thing you want to do is close your mouth, breath all the air out of your system through your nose, and remain calm. I state this mainly as a reminder to myself because my default behavior is to – in some way, shape, or form, become defensive. And this isn’t attractive to anyone…
At some point in your life, its very likely you are going to have to tell your woman to “Sit Down and Shut.The.Fuck. Up.”
Some women are reading this with shocked open mouths, and others just know that the truth is being spoken right here. They press these boundaries to see how far they can take you before you start acting like a man, but gentlemen, remember who you are in these times… and remember these words. She needs to know that you mean business… Don’t confuse this with a meatheaded Jersey Boy gym rat, all steroid-ed up, but rather a calm yet stern focus – Maximus is always a good example. He only raises his voice when he needs to, but when he does, he means business.
There are a lot of women out there who don’t want you to hear this message. Not in today’s society. The goal right now for women is to outwardly appear as autonomous, completely independent beings – “We don’t need men” and anything less is considered weak. This is a façade and gentlemen, don’t believe it for a second.
The truth is, or The Unbreakable Truth is that while they may not need men, they want men. As long as you silently say this to yourself (and this doesn’t always mean they want *you*), a lot of relationship situations will make more sense.
In my personal experience, the best relationships have been the ones that supported my endeavors no matter how big or small. It doesn’t matter if I’m climbing Mt. Everest or cooking a hotdog, she’s there by my side and tacitly understands that the more I’m able to focus on achieving these things, the better it is for us….
To quote Chris Rock, who may be the most crass man on the planet but has yet to say anything that I have not found to be true from experience.
“You say that shit like a man, make a little eye contact…
put a little bass in your voice, she will do. that. shit.
She wants to do that shit.
She’s dying to do that shit.
” – Chris Rock.
Truer words have yet to be spoken.
This is Ethan Bishop. Over and out.
Leave your comments or call: 646.504.5439 and leave a message. Thats right, call that number: 646.504.5439. And your message will be listened to…
“Ladies – Feed Me, F**k Me and Shut the F**k Up!”
by Michael “Leonidas” Childress
Admittedly, the title of this work, my sophomoric UML contribution, was hijacked from comedian Chris Rock and chosen specifically as a tool to lure you [fearless readers!] into the entangling web that is my Narcissism-spawned written discourse – Beware the honeypot my friends! I have found that the best way to craft an attractive compendium related to the “battle of the sexes”, or any topic for that matter, is to sucker punch the prospective readers with an emotive [see “anger” for this particular one…] title. Now that my audacious attempt at a disclaimer for the material following this not-so-covert attempt to swoon you, the reader, has been swiftly dispatched let’s get on to the Cro-Mag goodness!
Sooo, I suppose at this juncture we should examine Mr. Rock’s declarative statement that is the impetus of this “treatise”? On the surface it would be appear to be the perpetual rally cry of any consummate knuckle-dragger – “Me big, strong hunter-gatherer. Me club woman on head [not too hard to damage goods] and drag back to cave for boom boom time. Then me have her cook me animal carcass on fire and after that me kick her to cave curb!” Ha! Ah, the good ole’ days. I like to think we have progressed beyond that juncture in human social interaction and then I go out on a weekend night and am not so sure… Are we [human males] so myopic regarding relationship ideology?
Feed Me: It’s probably more than a bit antiquated to think that females should do the majority of the cooking in romantic relationships. It’s inarguably stupid to believe that they are doing all of the cooking now. I have been privy to empirical evidence that there are, indeed, many females out there in the land of perpetual dating that have little-to-no cooking skills. Apparently the saying about certain people barely being able to boil water has some truth in it. All of this writing about food and dating reminds me of the old adage that proclaims “the way to a man’s heart is his stomach”. If that’s the case then there will be a whole lot of single women out there, now and in the near future! However, as a knuckle-dragger myself I can say that the whole “guys think about sex every seven seconds” thing is utter nonsense. The truth is there are cognitions springing from the male mind related to food every 7 seconds and ones about sex every second! I kid [sort of]. I mean who am I to speak for all males?!
On another level there are those that like to combine food and sex, a fetish [much like the rest], that I never understood. I understand the hunger and desire for food post-coitus, but during the horizontal mambo you better keep whatever you happen to be snacking on well away from me! What it comes down to, obviously, is that we are all inherently different. We all have different wants and desires and ideas of an “ideal match”, etc., etc. If you want to rub chocolate all over your prospective mate’s body [and summarily lick it off said person] make sure you mention that in your Match.com profile!
Ultimately Chris [Rock], I will have to disagree with you on this part of your life ideology pertaining to romantic relationships. Personally I would rather cook my own food and not service myself! Too much? This is not just the Age of Information & Technology, it is the wondrous Age of Equality & Gender Role Smashing! The women are out of the kitchen and I cook better than most of the ones I know. Feed yourself my [guy] friends!
F**k Me: Sex is awesome. There is no debating that. I shudder to think what that particular act was like during the aforementioned Cro-Magnon days, but there’s only one way into this life for us homo sapiens, i.e. someone sprung you out from their vagina. So sorry to be so base, but such is life. Let’s not sugarcoat things! Now that we established that sex is important to humans [I know…alert the media!] let’s explore the obvious a bit more.
Guys like sex. Testosterone drives the male sex drive like water does a hydroelectric power plant. We [males] spend nine months of our lives trying to escape the womb and the rest trying to get back in! What? Am I wrong about that? That’s ok. People seem to forget that humans are animals too. What [behaviors] we witness in the lower echelons of the animal kingdom can and do exist in human life as well. Do we not all [the lion’s share of Earth’s inhabitants] sleep, eat, defecate and procreate? Granted we are one of the few species on this fetid rock that has sex for pleasure only…
The verdict? Yes, Mr. Rock I agree with you [wholeheartedly] on this one. If only we could somehow harness the awesome power of the human male sex drive [all hail the mighty penis!] , the search for alternative sources of fuel would cease immediately! Despite the general degradation of our [males, again] desire for sex as we age [inextricably linked to the loss of testosterone during the aging process] there are still those gentlemen in their 80s and 90s looking to get lucky in senior facilities! Sex: Our gift, our curse.
Shut the F**k Up! Someone rolls off of someone after the act of the beast with two backs and, depending on the sex of the participant and the individual preference, the post-sex go-to could be ESPN, spooning, a sandwich, cigarettes, chocolate, sleep, a shower, a visit to the psychotherapist, etc. However I expect Chris Rock was not referring to talk after sex, but oral discourse from that significant other or random sex partner in general. Well may be not now that I think about it. Most likely he is referring to nagging. “Nagging” also known as “not-so-friendly reminders of s**t you should have done without anyone needing to tell you”! From what I remember as a youth my mother and father were both world class naggers!
The generalization that women do most of the talking in a relationship is about as accurate as that of all men having inadequate map reading/navigation skills. Say it ain’t so Joe! People make and perpetuate generalizations?! Noooooooooooooooo! All my early childhood perceptions of mankind as the perfect species have been ruined! The horror!
I am far [like light years…] from the ranks of the legions of metro-sexual males who gallivant around the D.C. area in makeup, Capri pants, and other [normally] estrogen-driven fashion/aesthetic choices, but even I, a proud knuckle-dragger, realize that sex is but a slice of the relationship pie. If I can’t have an intelligent conversation with you outside of the negotiations leading up to sexual relations and don’t want to talk to you in general barring a few “oh yeahs!” or “ouch , that hurts!” during sex you might as well be a prostitute and myself a john! There is no arguing; the sex is great. However, there has to be more. Humans are living to be hundred+ years now. Imagine a marriage of seventy years [observable in reality now]. That’s a lot of silence! Eventually the food will be served by someone outside of the relationship and the sex will be most likely non-existent!
Ah, Chris. I can’t go with you on this one either buddy. I’m guessing since you recently got divorced from your wife on ten or so years you didn’t like what she was saying to you! What’s good for the goose is not necessarily good for the rest of ‘em. I look forward to conversations with my significant other. It’s great to have the Cro-Mag discussions with the boys during any number of testosterone-driven activities, but it is equally nice to engage in some phenomenal repartee with the lady.
To reiterate [from my first UML blog contribution], we [men and women] are about as different as night and day! We can’t expect to necessarily want the same things, be interested in all of the same hobbies and other work and life distractions and always see eye-to-eye. Women are from Mars and men have a penis. Let us once again rejoice in our inherent differences and try not to drive each other too bats**t crazy!
Good night and good luck.
Every now and then people ask for my advice on relationships and women, even more so since the creation of this blog.
I want to clear the air right now.
I am not a relationship expert, dating coach, nor do I play one on TV. I’ve never been married, engaged, given a promise-ring or any other new gimmick that is popular at the moment. While I have been in a few long-term-relationships, I would be lying to you if I could explain the hidden and unknown secret of a successful and happy relationship. I know what has worked for me in the past and The Unbreakable Man Laws is my attempt to convey this in a humorous and entertaining way. Some of the posts are written in jest, some are to be taken deeply serious, and others are meant to simply give you something controversial to talk about with your friends at the dinner table or bar.
With the public service announcement out of the way, let’s get to the heart of this post. There is one message that I repeat throughout the blog in one form or another and that is – your life should never center around one person. Specifically, your happiness should not be dependent on someone else’s livelihood. Albert Einstein put it this way:
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
There are a number of people who believe that by putting their significant other first that they are performing an honorable and noble act. They are tying their personal happiness to a specific individual. Should we sacrifice our own happiness for the sake of others? That’s a question without an answer and one that would likely receive ten different answers from ten different people. At some point after putting others before ourselves, you have to step back and take care of yourself – re-energize. There is only one point in your life that the answer of putting someone else in your life should come before your own and that is when it comes to your children.
As a man, I’m of the mindset that you need a specific activity that involves just you – an area of your personal life where you can see yourself making progress towards achieving a goal – whether its repairing motorcycles and computers or training in the gym. A hobby that causes you to throw out all of the problems of the day and where your attention has to be specifically – in the moment. Some people choose a hobby in order to enter into marathons, triathlons, competitions, or they focus on their own artwork and creativity such as music and film. Whatever the case may be, you need one.
In the rush and fast pace of life – especially in the city, it’s easy for us to go from happy hour to happy hour and party after party without really thinking about our long term goals. Now, some people can go from event to event with flying colors and kick ass. Congratulations to them. I know myself well enough, and I know that I cannot. I need re-charge time. Pretty soon, half the year is over, and we look back and haven’t accomplished any of the New Years Resolutions (remember those?) I feel that as a man, if you look back and you are sitting on the same couch, looking at the same TV, in the same (unhappy) relationship, making the same money (or less), then you need to get off your ass and move forward.
Throughout my life, I’ve done this through soccer, weight lifting, studying music, training in Brazilian Jiujitsu, and even writing to an extent. This is “Bishop Time” and while I’m involved with these activities, it allows me to tune out the outside world. These aren’t hobbies I take lightly – I study privately, have coaches or teachers, join organizations and teams and actively engage in them. The times where I’ve strayed farthest in life (for the worst) have been when all I really cared about was having a good time. It’s great for the first week or so, but then what…
The Great Oracle always said “Every guy wants a girl, but the guy on the street – thats all he wants…” This is the PG version of what he really said but the point is that you need to spend your time working on goals that will make a difference in your life and not solely on one person. Its been my experience that the people who have your best interest in heart, will help you reach those goals and not make you choose between the goal and them…
So Gentlemen, man up, find something to get involved with, and I’m not talking about a high score in Angry Birds – start a blog, join a team, get involved with sports. If it seems like you’ve been treading water for a while and in the last few months you haven’t accomplished shit except an imprint on the couch, ask your friends for guidance but be prepared to make a decision – pick a date, time and do it. No excuses. This is your life! Own it.
“We can still be together, right here. In the world we built together” – Inception
It has been over a month since the last post, Man Law #82 – Fortune Favors The Bold hit the stands and needless to say, a number of people took the post to heart and ran with it. I have been honored and humbled by the countless number of personal messages and public recognition regarding this piece. A few people even surprised me with the question:
“Mr. Bishop, Where is the next Man Law?”
First, to the Unbreakable Audience and readers of the blog I wanted to tell you that A LOT has been going on behind the scenes as the blog continues to grow. While my friends and personal acquaintances can attest to the changes on the home front with relationship to my career, it is not always apparent, how these changes will affect the blog. Rest assured, there is much happening down like a boiling lava beneath the surface at The UML Command Center.
While the details are still under hush and whisper, you will see the results over the course of the next few months.
So, with that said, I’ll jump into the meat and potatoes of this post.
There is a general philosophy that I want to instill to the men out there reading the blog and that is the concept of “The Builder.” The women can sit back, relax and are encouraged to read, but this one is for the men out there.
Gentlemen, You want to be seen as a builder, someone who lifts people up, and moves them forward no matter where they are in life. Even though someone may seem to excel in one area of their life whether its sports, financials, women, you name it – there is probably an area that they fail miserably at – AND YOU ARE EXCELLENT. I ask for advice just about every single day and the day I stop, will be the day I die. I’m always learning…and right around the clock.
One of my old bosses, the father of 9 children, used to tell his sons and daughters that if you don’t learn something new every day, just turn back around and go back to sleep. I didn’t always agree with what he had to say, but I can be assured that I will remember this statement for the rest of my life and be sure to pass this on to those who come forth after me.
Now, I want to make it clear that a successful relationship takes many components, many which I continue to learn on a daily basis but a primary one is the idea of building and creating together. From DAY ONE to your funeral, I don’t care if you just met her at the bar, you need to be thinking of creating with her – whether its cooking a dinner together on a Sunday Night (And I’m not talking about picking up the wine, at the very least, you need to be cutting up some vegetables), having the idea to play pool or darts right at the bar, building a city or a sand castle on the beach – BUILD AS YOU GO.
Why is this important, you ask? I’ll tell you.
Some area deep in the male psyche tells us that physically doing activities together, builds bonds of connection. While women may be able to experience this bonding through verbally sharing there day with each other, men bond through actively doing task. The more visible the results of their efforts, the better. If they can look back and say “I built that,” this is very good and necessary for the male ego.
A few women out there, will no doubt disagree with me here. They believe that sharing everything about one another’s lives, their emotions, and how they feel is the way a man should connect with them. They believe they understand everything there is to know about being a man and if any of them do not know, they will be the first ones to tell him – what a “real man” would do…
Gentlemen, I’m here to say that you need no permission to be a man, there is no test you have to take and there is no final. You simply need to stand up, start DOING. CREATING. BUILDING and make sure that everything you touch lights on fire.
Until next time.
This is Bishop. Over and Out.
“Things may come to those who wait but only the things left by those who hustle.” – Abraham Lincoln
A New Day. A New Year. A New Man Law.
The week before New Year’s Eve, I received a call from a friend of mine who has been following The Unbreakable Man Laws since the very beginning – He asked how the blog started and how it grew. As I started going through what worked for me, I could tell from his questions and from talking with his other friends about his project that he was quickly becoming discouraged by all the different “potential” setbacks that might occur.
I told him that before he looked at all of the things that might go wrong, he needed to get moving in the right direction. If you are going to start blogging, start blogging. If you are going to write a book, start writing. A bit of planning is always preferred and some VISION should be a factor of every decision that you make, yet at some point you need to realize that conditions will never be perfect and if you continue to wait until the stars are in alignment with the moon, you’ll be sitting around a bar ten years from now and talking to the bartender about all the things you should have done when you were younger.
While I was growing up my father used to ask me these rhetorical questions that I appalled whenever he saw me as not making progress – “Are you being productive? Or are you getting ready to ‘get ready?’ ” (Editorial Note: He STILL says this to me). These weren’t always the words I wanted to hear, they were the words I needed to hear. As someone who has been an avid weight lifter for over a decade, I frequently hear friends who state that they wanted to get back to the gym, but when it got down to it, it seemed that they needed the latest equipment, the weight lifting gloves, the Under Armour shorts, and the “City Sports” Shoes before they can go to the gym. Slow down Schwarzenegger – start with some pushups. A year later, they are saying the exact same thing “I need to get back into the gym.” They turn around and see me walking out the door and ask me where I’m going and I answer: “to the gym…”
“Wait, don’t you want to sit here and play X-Box?”
Their reason for failure is always OUTSIDE of what they consider their control. If X would just do this, and Y would just do that, their life would be perfect.
I’ve been around successful people my entire life and the one trait that I see in all of them is that when it comes to achieving the things that they want, they will first pick the goal, move in the direction of their goal and figure out how to get there on the way, or in other words – Ready. Fire. Aim. Wash. Rinse. And Repeat. (RFAWRAR)
I use this approach to business; I use it with people; I use it with personal (read: intimate) relationships. It’s gotten me in trouble quite a bit of times (with the latter) but I can say with absolute honesty and certainty that I have NEVER regretted making the first move. Even if I strike out miserably, I’ve achieved much more by simply taking the first few steps without thinking about how to get there all too much.
“Fortes fortuna adiuvat” – Virgil
I’m not here to lecture you. Most of you have schools and bosses that can do that for you. What I can say is that once in a while we can all use a peptalk because life isn’t always sugar and spice.
Go out and make big things happen for you in 2011. How will THIS year be different than the last? How will the people that you meet, relationships you have and your life be DIFFERENT than the last? If you haven’t already done so, write down your New Year’s Resolutions, tell some of your friends or even share your resolutions on Facebook with others. I’m a big fan of telling other people my goals and when they don’t see me achieving them or even remotely moving in the direction of achieving them, they will call me out on it. At the end of the day, I appreciate those types of friends more than the ones that tell me what I want to hear, and not what I NEED to hear.
And if you are still sitting around after reading this post, shaking your head, and wondering, “What in the world does this post have to do with The Unbreakable Man Laws?”
The answer is:
Happy New Year Everyone. Make it count!
“There are three kinds of people: those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen, and those who ask ‘What happened?'”
Which one are you?”
Since its inception, The Unbreakable Man Laws has continually strived to push the envelope with new Man Laws, Man Theories, Interviews and extremely questionable material posted to The Unbreakable Man Laws Facebook Page. For those of you who stuck with us through thick and thin – THANK YOU! You are what makes this blog happen and the blog would not survive and thrive without your continued support.
With the exception of Africa and Antarctica, hundreds (and in many cases thousands) of readers are visiting the blog from every corner of the globe. This is hard to believe for an idea that originally started with a core audience of less than 600 Facebook friends and family.
By far the landmark event of 2010 was the success of The UML Social Experiment which took place in the Nation’s Capital, Washington, D.C. on November 20th, 2010. Nearly 200 people traveled from around the United States to attend this inaugural event. Will there be more remains to be told. We are always looking for bigger and better ways of doing things here at the UML Command Center. If you’d like to be a part of The Resistance, contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We look forward to hearing from you.
And now without further adieu, I present to you THE TOP FIVE UNBREAKABLE MAN LAWS of 2010. (Editorial Note: For the sake of simplicity, this article is inclusive of all Man Laws, Man Theories, and Interviews posted on the blog during the course of this past year).
January 30, 2010 – We’ve all been there and it’s happened to us all. For anyone who has not been rejected at some point by either a person they wanted to date, a job that didn’t hire them, or a college that didn’t admit them – Rejection is a part of life and in many ways, it serves as a powerful learning tool. I won’t quote Nietzsche right here but suffice it to say, we all grow stronger.
August 17,2010 – Have you ever wondered why otherwise intelligent people can act completely insane while dating someone? Look no further, we now have a Man Theory that explains why this occurs. We still don’t have a solution, but acknowledging the existence of this phenomenon is the first step into greener pastures.
January 23, 2010 – Does she want a life-long monogamous relationship that bares a family or simply a single magnificent day she has been planning since childhood in which her friends and family treat her like a Princess? Find out in Man Law #70. This particular law happens to be a good one to discuss with significant others and family. Be sure to include friends that have gone through divorces and not simply people on their first marriage. We wish you the best of luck. No. Really, we do!
November 29, 2010 – Whenever you start questioning people’s most basic and fundamental beliefs, you are bound for an entertaining discussion to follow.With this interview, we asked Dr. Christopher Ryan co-author of the book “Sex at Dawn,” whether Monogamy is Natural in the human condition. Specifically, were we meant to have lifelong partners or is promiscuity in our DNA. This interview is for Mature Audiences Only. For those of you under 18 and still idealistic, you may want to stick with the Disney ideal of relationships as long as possible. The truth may shock you!
April 2, 2010 – This was an instant crowd favorite. In this Man Law, I spoke about how disinterest from a woman can be seen as being stabbed with a velvet glove. Coincidently, the girls over at Flirtexting had a similar post recently dealing with interpreting her text responses that I wholeheartedly agree with and give the Bishop stamp of approval. I do have a response to the girls of Flirtexting and women reading this everywhere – just because you receive a text from us, doesn’t mean we want an engagement.
Stay on your toes gentlemen:
Tom Sanders: “She got to you didn’t she?”
Don Cherry: “What did you expect? They’re stronger, they’re smarter, and they don’t fight fair. It’s the next step in human evolution. It’s like the Amazons, keep a few of us around for sperm and kill off the rest.” – (Disclosure – “Sex is Power”, 1994.)
As always, I look forward to hearing feedback from you and encourage you to contact me at: email@example.com.
This is Ethan Bishop. Signing off for 2010. It’s a War Out There Gentlemen, and the Women are Winning!
I leave you with one last request: “Let us go forward together” – Winston Churchill
If there is one theme of UML that I hope has been drilled into every man’s head who is reading this blog, it is this – respect your time and previous commitments. For those of you who have been here since the beginning, that idea started right here in Man Law #7.
For the women reading this in disgusted “shock,” be aware that Man Law #81 is applicable to both men and women. However, since this is a blog from a man’s perspective, you will have to deal with the man’s perspective. There are plenty of women’s magazines that will send your gender into estrogenic bliss, but on this blog, we are going to have man talk on man time from a man’s point of view and you are going to like it!
Now, it has been over a year since Man Law #7 has been published and I’ll throw this out there that many guys who read this blog walk away with only that law. It sticks in your head. Is 10% too little? Well, maybe. But if your day job of 40 hours a week (if you’re lucky) is roughly 80% of your life and 10% is for yourself (which includes hobbies, going to the gym, hanging with your buddies, paying your bills, education and pleasure), how much time should be for someone else? Is it so hard to understand why relationships are an investment and so many people lose themselves in one?
How do you know if someone is wasting your time? I can only speak for myself and my experience. If I notice that she is taking an extraordinary long time to get back to me, consistently, then I will usually say that she is wasting my time. The key word here is consistently. This can occur with gchat, text, bbm , e-mail or even phone calls. The best example of this is when I am chatting with someone online and all of a sudden – there is no response to a question that is pretty straight forward. For instance, we are on gchat or text and the following occurs:
Guy <insert any question here, this is just an example>: “Blue is a pretty interesting color. How did you choose that color to dye your hair?”
15 minutes pass…
25 minutes pass…
45 minutes pass…
75 minutes pass…
Girl: “Soooorrrryyyyyyyy…..Had to watch American Idol. I ❤ that show. ”
Girl: “Whoops, what was the question again? I closed that window. I am so braindead after work! ”
Guy thinks: “That’s understandable…”
Specifically, if I get the impression that she is consciously taking her time to NOT respond, then I take that into account and say – “Ok. Done. Next.” and just like that – POOF – I’m gone.
Usually if the above sort of situation happens once or twice, I am OK with it. People have their lives before they met me and I respect that. No one is stating that she has to “Stop, Drop and Respond,” anytime a text from me rolls her way, however, some people and particularly in this entire relationship building phase, don’t take into account that a simple, “Hey, my favorite show is coming on in a second, talk to you in an hour when I can think straight? ” tells me that she is consciousness and respects my time. She is communicating that “I can’t give you my full attention at the moment but I will be right back when I can!”
And I am and will always be 100% respectful of that.
This does not mean I will ignore her initiated conversations or treat her any different in a conversation. It simply means that this seems like a bad time for both of us to engage and perhaps we have too many other distractions in our lives to focus on any one person. Hey, it happens to us all and I’ve certainly been guilty of this in the past. But if you find that you are fighting a losing battle between her, and her TV, chances are you should box this interaction as having any sort of future relationship potential. Unless you plan on dating her TV too…
My attitude towards this didn’t develop because I am lounging in the C-Suite of a Fortune 500 company but for the people who know me, and I mean, really know me – I make a conscious effort to respond to their messages, e-mails (Editorial Note: Go ahead, try it: firstname.lastname@example.org ) and phone calls, etc. They are important to me. In fact, for most people, if I don’t get back to you within a day or two, something is wrong.
So to summarize this up, the people who see me at my absolute best are the ones who I get the genuine impression are timely and responsive – whether we are still getting to know each other or have been friends for a dozen years. I don’t have time to play games. I am here, making deals and right around the clock. So if I see someone who seems too caught up in a social scene or preoccupied by everything else going on around her, that is absolutely fan-spanking-tastic. Have a nice life lady, I won’t be in it…
Your Comments Welcome.
(Editorial Note: The title of this Man Law originated from a quoted tweet by @FredCuellar. As with all great quotes, I wrote it down immediately after seeing it “If I Allow You To Waste My Time, Then I Shouldn’t Be Surprised If You Take Me For Granted!” – Fred Cuellar) If you are on twitter, take two seconds and follow him.)