The Unbreakable Man Laws

On September 20, 2010 UML featured Trinie Le Blanc on why women make the best wingmen. While Ms. Le Blanc’s argument did have certain valid points, her argument falls apart in three significant areas. Let’s take these issues one by one.

"To each his own, but for me, a wingman is the right MAN for the job..."

1)      “…when guys have deployed their wingmen to strike up a conversation with me, this effort falls flat.” – Trinie Le Blanc

First of all, this is terrible wingman technique. The wingman’s job is not to go in first… alone… unarmed; of course this poor sap was terribly unsuccessful. No, the wingman’s job is just that, to be a wing

MAN, to stay by the wing guarding against assaults from “the we-gotta-go” girl or the “she’s-just-here-to-hang-with-her-friends” girl or worst… the “I-can’t-leave-without-my-(homely)-girlfriend”  The one thing that no… well very, very, few wingwomen can do, is fall on a grenade. And when two well coordinated men go out on the town the understanding is that if the situation calls for it, either will take the grenade for the other, wingwomen almost never understand this.

2)      “Qualities of a good wingwoman:

– She’s extroverted and enjoys meeting new people

– She’s confident and doesn’t mind sharing the spotlight with other women

– She has a good sense of humor and isn’t easily put off by other people

– She understands the concept of subtlety” – Trinie Le Blanc

Who is this woman?!? If this woman actually existed and didn’t have 3 arms we’d be dating her! The problem is this, and I’m just going to put it out there, guys really have a hard time legitimately being friends with women we find attractive. And if we’re single hanging out with attractive, fun, interesting, outgoing women is that much harder. So if we’re hanging out with you, chances are we’re trying to find ways to bang you.

3)      “Like running in high heels or, well, giving birth, some things are just better left up to the girls – including picking up chicks.” -Trinie Le Blanc

Ms. Le Blanc gives great advice… if we lived in an ideal world. Unfortunately, in the real world, time after time, otherwise reasonable, rational, creative and smart women have the world’s worst taste in women. Ms. Le Blanc gave the example of women meeting and bonding in the restroom. Here’s an example. Two women go into a bathroom, a “wingwoman” and a 3; two women come out. The guy still sees their “wingwoman” and a 3 but now that the women have “bonded” to the wingwoman the 3 is suddenly an 8.5. Therefore she will spend the next 45 minutes explaining why he should approach her.

Still the one...

Now why is this? First, women can be incredibly competitive, so your 7.9 “wingwoman” is not going to set you up with the 9.3 supermodel, it just doesn’t happen. They’ll gladly set you up with someone of their own perceived hotness level or lower, but if the “wingwoman” is really that hot, I refer back to argument #2 we want to bang her! Secondly, women are more emotional and so they like to talk about their feelings. Men are creatures of action, so we’d rather not spend 45 minutes having you explain to us why Sara spelled without an H would be great for us. When a guy has a guy wingman the conversation goes much differently. “What about Sara?” “Sarah? Dude, are you kidding me?” “Next!”

So the bottom line is this, chances are that if a guy has a wingwoman he’s secretly trying to find a way to bang her, while she is subconsciously trying to c-block him. In the end everyone goes home frustrated… unless the guy is successful… in landing a threesome.

Out.

Alex Scott

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