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Guest Post – “Estrogen Corrupts!” – 5 Important Reasons Why Women Don’t Understand Men [And Never Will!]

October 25, 2010 4 comments

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“Estrogen Corrupts!” Five important Reasons Why Women Don’t Understand Men [And Never Will!] By Michael “Leonidas” Childress

image

"Estrogen, Estrogen!"

Now Ladies, please hear me out before you attempt to string Ethan and me up or make us eunuchs! I am far from some misogynistic knuckle-dragger swinging from the rafters shouting “estrogen corrupts!” with a snarling rictus on my face. Those guys are lonely virgins with anger issues. Magic the Gathering or Dungeons & Dragons anyone? I am a champion of women! As the notorious playboy Mao Zedong proffered, “Women hold up half the sky.” It is mere facetiousness that originally spawned my joking chants of “Estrogen! Estrogen!” (think “Hercules! Hercules!” from Eddie Murphy’s The Nutty Professor remake) in response to inarguably feminine/estrogen-driven statements made by my female friends and family members throughout the years. We know that in reality both men and women, and in fact all creatures on this planet with spines/backbones, utilize the group of organic compounds known as “estrogens” in physiological chemical reactions. I actually tried to have all of the estrogens, and my tear ducts, removed from my body as a youth…to no avail. I still cry (tears of joy) every time I see mammaries! I can’t enter a Gentlemen’s club without a box of Kleenex. “Estradiol”, the primary female sex hormone, is actually the King Kong (Betty Kong?) of the estrogens, and the opposite of the prime male sex hormone testosterone, but it doesn’t seem to roll off of the tongue the way “estrogen” does! All that said, despite the fact that both sexes’ bodies rely on both estrogen and testosterone to develop and function, it is pretty obvious that human males and females are significantly different physically and biochemically. Those differences are perhaps the only things related to sex males and females can agree on without argument?! Enough with the sex education! This, my humble contribution to The Unbreakable Man Laws…*sigh*…indeed my piece de resistance, is not meant to be a witty biology, physiology or anatomy lesson; it is an attempt to apply my own brand of pseudo-science to the age-old Battle of the Sexes! Hell yeah! Without further ado I give you my top five reasons why men may not be from Mars and women may not be from Venus, but they might as well be!

1) Testosterone is a hell of a drug: Is it any surprise that this particular erection-inspiring hormone is used, illegally most times I might add, for muscular hypertrophy by males and females? Ladies, take that fact and figure that we males typically have about ten times more testosterone produced in our bodies than you members of the “fairer sex”! It is already a given that biochemistry is inexorably linked to human cognitive processes. That means, as if you didn’t already know, we don’t think alike! Please keep that in mind next time you feel like your significant other just Quasimodo-ed out of a cave with a club and in dire need of a shower and a shave! Sex and the City or The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood are just not going to appeal to me no matter your protestations!

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"Oh, My! Thats one large...."

2) The Power of the Penis: “Hey, it’s the gorging organ!” No really, it’s a love missile powered by a testosterone reactor. So much blood courses down there for some of us all it takes is a stiff breeze to “launch” it! I apologize; methinks I doth digress too much… The penis so affects and influences the male psyche we see glorious testaments to it and its greatness erected (no pun intended) around the world. If you’re ever on the National Mall near the Washington Monument take a look around and see if most of the men aren’t looking at the structure and nodding solemnly in approval! Actually some of the women are probably doing the same thing… The bottom line is until you’ve walked a mile in our shoe…er, boxers don’t underestimate the power of the penis, AKA the “little brain”, to significantly affect our behavior and decision-making! The undeniable power of the penis does not make the vagina any less special my estrogen-laden lovelies. However to understand it fully is to be born with it…

3) Suh-Suh-Socialization: Cletus the slack-jawed yokel could tell you that established gender roles in any society make growing up different for boys and girls. That would be sociology and psychology 101 ladies and gentlemen. Do we tend to (conveniently) forget that sexual rifts/divides start at early ages?! All of a sudden around puberty we are thrust (again no pun intended) together and expected to interact on a different level than what we have been used to in previous years! “Wait, so you’re saying kicking girls is no longer a good way to express interest in them?!” Additively, girls generally hit puberty before boys so we supposedly mature at later ages. “Damn you puberty…damn you to hell!” The awkwardness of this new phase of interpersonal relationships with the opposite sex can extend well into adulthood for some (unfortunate) people. Everyone knows at least one socially-awkward person that would be your last choice as a wingman/woman! “So, do you ladies play Warcraft at all?” So in a society like America’s we are conditioned at early ages to be different by the Dictatorship of the Parents and school and the various other agents of socialization. Those of us with penises would like to believe that we gain some clarity regarding the female psyche as we get older, but not even my undergraduate psychology course “The Psychology of Women” was able to provide more insight into feminine behavioral patterns!

"A little sword-play never hurt anyone..."

4) He’s Just Not That Into You…r Hobbies: Yet again socialization rears its ugly head… We develop the lion’s share of our hobbies and interests as youths. I didn’t know a lot of girls growing up, outside of a few tomboys, that were into the testosterone-inspired things and activities I cherished and adored. Ever heard of G.I. Joe and Arnold Schwarzenegger? Of course we have all heard of the legends of those men that supposedly enjoy the ballet, knitting, moonlight walks on the beach, Pilates, talking about their problems, etc., but I sure don’t know any personally! Don’t ask don’t tell gentlemen. Man law. There’s nothing wrong with having different interests than your mate. It’s perfectly natural and healthy. It’s like the separation of church and state…it just works! Relish in your differences my friends! No need to feign an interest in sporting events or Oprah. Part of the fun of romantic relationships is getting your significant other to do something you enjoy with you and them finding out they like it, or at least don’t loathe it. Hobbies and activities that tend to draw one sex or the other are probably going to continue to ensure those group bonding events are generally sex-specific. The consumption of alcoholic beverages seems to be bridge-gap between the sexes however! “Body-shots anyone?” Alcohol: Bringing men and women together one ill-advised jaunt at a time.

image5) The Estrogen Factor: Ah, so it appears we have come full circle my flock! Is “The Estrogen Factor” the cringe-worthy title of a new, inane “reality TV” show?! Nope! Women often seem to get a bad rap for being “more emotional” (is that really a bad thing or have we been conditioned to believe it so?) than men. A generalization for sure from what I’ve seen, but fluctuating levels of estrogens in the female body during pregnancies or menstruation do have the potential to make you guys moodier than a manic depressive on a bender! Does the “estrogen factor” ensure that women are more prone to be drawn towards things society has deemed “girly” and send Spartans (“This…is…testosterone!”) like me running for the hills? To an extent, yes. However I, for one, do not want a mate that’s simply a male, especially like myself, in a female’s body. So when I start chanting “Estrogen! Estrogen!” like it’s a rallying call to fellow Cro-Magnons know that I am (half) kidding and part of me is actually going, “Viva estrogen!”, but my (monolithic) male bravado would never allow me to actually utter it!

I know by this point you all are as weepy-eyed as I am (feeling talk make Bizarro Superman leak from eye) so let’s wrap this puppy up! Just as there exists the “dichotomy of man” so too is there the dichotomy of the species. On one side is the testosterone-driven, penis-wielding male and on the other is the estrogen-fueled, vagina-powered female. Is it any surprise we can drive each other to drink (significantly) on a regular basis?! Of course, as we all know, when the interaction is good, it is really good. Hopefully even all the lonely virgins out there will learn that eventually. The yin and yang are nothing without each other. Estrogen doesn’t “corrupt”, but it sure as hell isn’t testosterone! Men and women might not ever truly “get” each other, but I think we do understand each other more than we freely admit. Estrogen is alive and well (and perpetually combating testosterone!)…long live estrogen!

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We Keep Getting Older, They Stay The Same Age: An Exclusive Interview with Cougar Expert, Lucia!

October 17, 2010 7 comments

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Lucia

Meet Lucia, Relationship/Dating Expert

With Courtney Cox making headlines in the newspapers with her recent break up with David Arquette in which she is 7 years his senior, the timing could not be better for an interview focusing on older women dating younger men.

Enter the Cougar!

As far back as I can remember, I’ve always been attracted to older women. Most guys can remember watching movies with cheerleaders while they were still in middle school.  Most of us thought that as soon as we entered High School,  all of these girls would look like they stepped off the set of 90210. While reality hit some of us harder than others, we quickly realized that most of these same girls were looking at other senior guys.  Unbeknown at the time, a few of these girls were looking right back at us!

Some naysayers think it’s weird! Some ask “why” an older woman would want or even date a younger man!

I think its “evolution.

Consider that more women in the United States have their own finances and resources and have less of a need for an older, established man to provide this for them as they did pre-Feminist movement.  The question turns from why to why NOT have a young buck “energizer bunny” eager to please?

Since the UML blog has been in existence, I have received a multitude of request from friends and members of the UML Facebook Fan Page to talk about HOW to pick up (for lack of a better term) older women. Where to find them, if they don’t find you, of course, and what to expect.

So when the opportunity arose to interview Cougar Expert, Lucia, I knew that I could not pass it up. Finally, an avenue besides “Cougar Town,” was available to give these young and restless some information regarding this relatively new phenomenon.

Before we jump into the interview, Lucia is a professional dating/relationship expert who founded The Art of Love .  She has been seen on Dr. Phil, Tyra Banks, E! Entertainment, That Morning Show, and over 100 hundred national and internationally syndicated TV and radio shows.  In addition to recently launching a Web TV Show, be sure to check her live discussions on her Facebook Fan Page , her YouTube channel, and follow her on Twitter @cougarexpert.

Without further adieu:

Ethan: You recently released a new e-book called Lucia’s Lessons of Love. Would you be able to tell us a bit about it? Does it focus on women who date younger men or dating in general?

Lucia: “Lucia’s Lessons of Love:  An Expert Answers the Most Asked Dating and Relationship Questions” is a “love manual”.   I bottom line each answer in a fun, easy-to-read “Q & A” format. It answers questions everyone has asked themselves at one time or another about dating in general, such as:  Why is it that whenever I like someone they don’t like me, and the ones I don’t like are crazy about me? or What does, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” mean?

Lucia on the Dr. Phil show!

Ethan: Where did the term cougar come from in the first place? Is it a fad or is “cougarism” here to stay?

Lucia: The term cougar is thought to have originated in the late 80’s in the dressing room of the Vancouver Canucks dressing room by a player named Taylor Hall. He began to call the older, single women who came to their games “Cougars”.  The term eventually got picked up by a small movie producer and used in a film, which seemed to help spread its usage.

Although many people think/wish this was a fad, I can unequivocally tell you Cougars and Cubs are out of the Cougar closet and they are not going back!
Ethan:  Why was the term cougar adopted so quickly by older women as a sense of pride?

Lucia: I don’t know that it was.  Many women still have a problem with it because they are focusing on the predatory aspect of the animal.  The rest of us see it as a fun, playful term.  I tell women to look at the positive aspects of a cougar:  sleek, strong, sex, confident and in control.  When you look at it from that point of view, being a Cougar is actually something to be proud of!
Ethan:  Is being a Cougar an age range or is it an age difference? I know women that just turn 30 and think they are cougars where I tend to reserve 40+ as being the minimum age requirement for holding this honor.

Lucia: You’re right, it is a badge of honor and it’s reserved for attractive, in shape, classy, healthy women 40+ who have earned their “stripes”.  There also needs to be a minimum of a 10 year age difference between her and the “Cub”.

Ethan: What’s the difference between a MILF and a Cougar?

Lucia: Before the term “Cougar” became popular, attractive, sexy older women were called MILFs (and before that they were called Mrs. Robinson).  They were generally mothers of any age that younger guys wanted to have sex with, but the feeling was not necessarily mutual.  Cougars are also attractive, sexy older women (who may or may not be mothers) however, they are interested in having sex/dating younger guys.

Ethan:  Do Cougars date younger men because they serve better as “boy toys” than their male contemporaries?

Lucia: That’s certainly part of it, since it’s difficult to think of a 40+ male as a boy!  However, the main reason Cougars are interested in younger men is because they have less baggage.  They are generally fun and easy going and don’t have ex-wives they are paying alimony to or children they see every other weekend.  They are also hot, in great shape and have stamina!

 

Lucia

"Rawr."

 

Ethan:   What do younger men have to learn from Cougars and dating older women?

Lucia: Besides everything?  LOL  They will learn how to be men and gentlemen.  They will learn what a lady expects from a man.  They will learn manners and class.  Of course, they will also learn to up their game in the bedroom.  Once they’ve been with someone who is uninhibited and “skilful” it will be more difficult to date someone younger.
Ethan: From her perspective, what do cougars look for in relationships with younger men?

Lucia: If a Cougar is simply looking for a sexual relationship, then she will mainly be focused on how attracted she is to him, how good he is in bed and if he’s willing to learn more.

If a Cougar is looking for a long term relationship, she will look for someone who is mature enough to be in one.  He doesn’t have to be financially set or stable, but he does need to have a job, car and an apartment!

Ethan: For those women, who might consider themselves Cougars, are there any tips you have to help them find suitable cubs?

Lucia: Cougars can find Cubs anywhere!  I find the best places are on internet dating sites, the gym, colleges, conventions, sporting events and home depot!

Guest Post – A Fish Called Trinie: Why Evolutionary Psychology Tells Us That Wingwomen Work Better Than Wingmen by Pete Waters

October 11, 2010 9 comments

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A Fish Called Trinie:  Why Evolutionary Psychology Tells Us That Wingwomen Work Better Than Wingmen by Pete Waters of AskRomeo.com

I’ve read the recent UML posts from Trinie Le Blanc and Alex Cross with interest, and with no disrespect to my bro Alex, I have to agree with Trinie on this one.  Here’s why.

While Alex scores some solid comments here (which I think is the appropriate metaphor here), in my opinion Ms. Le Blanc still wins on points.  Here are my thoughts on Alex’s comments, based on a point-by-point discussion of his article.

1. The one thing that no… well very, very, few wingwomen can do, is fall on a grenade.”

Jessica Biel "Stealth"

"Trust Me, bro, she digs you. I'll go chat her up, then you can follow me in."

The implicit assumption here is that two guys (Lead and Wingman) are “engaging” two targets (chicks).  First off, this implies from the start a semi-adverserial relationship which we’d probably be better off dispensing with to start.   While a woman’s friend does deserve to be paid attention to, if only out of common courtesy, if she can see that her friend likes you and she approves of you (i.e. you have shown her that you are worthy of her friend), there will be no “grenade” to fall on. She will willingly excuse herself to go to the bathroom or get another drink (which may or may not even be empty). There is no need for “us” versus “them” thinking and therefore no need for tactics to somehow disarm obstacles that stand in the way of her affection. Especially not her friends. “Give, rather than get” is our philosophy at AskRomeo.  Second, while a Wingwoman is obviously lacking the motivation (and, most likely, the equipment), to “fall on the grenade” and engage the Friend, if a Lead and his Wingwoman enter a group of several women (more than two; at least three, and six is not unreasonable), or a group women and men, then “keeping the friend happy” is a non-issue, because the Friend can fall back to the rest of the group for company. This is the most common occurrence anyway.   It’s rare for girls go out in two’s, and for just this reason.

2.  “The problem is this, and I’m just going to put it out there, guys really have a hard time legitimately being friends with women we find attractive.” I semi-concur with this, also known as the “When Harry Met Sally” Principle:

Harry: … no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

Sally: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail them too.

(This line of dialogue got a lot of discussion in the popular press in 1989 when the movie came out, mostly in the form of women asking, “Do men really think that?”  The general answer was… yes.)

However, notwithstanding that, there are some women that I simply won’t go after… Mostly married female friends, wives of my guy friends, girlfriends of my guy friends, and (insert hillbilly joke here) women I’m related to by blood or marriage.  That’s actually, for most guys, a reasonably-sized pool of women.  (And if that’s not that case for a particular guy, then it might be worth that guy’s time to start shifting at least some of his efforts from searching for girlfriends and/or hookups and just work on enlarging his circle of female friends… More on that below. )

3.  “…women can be incredibly competitive, so your 7.9 “wingwoman” is not going to set you up with the 9.3 supermodel, it just doesn’t happen. They’ll gladly set you up with someone of their own perceived hotness level or lower, but if the “wingwoman” is really that hot, I refer back to argument #2…” I can see the idea behind your thinking, but I disagree.  If she knows that it is just not going to happen between the two of you (based on my number 2 above), she has no reason to compete.  If she’s your buddy’s wife/girlfriend or your sister-in-law, that’s just not going to be an issue. She’s settled in her relationship and you’re in her Friend Zone.  (Unless the three of you — you + her + her guy – are into something kinky, and in that case, what are you doing out in a bar with her, vice indoors somewhere?  But I digress).

Granted, women constantly compare themselves to each other, but if you and your platonic Wingwoman are being AUTHENTIC with each other, then just make a deal:  if I’m not attracted to the girl you’re pointing out, that’s it, move on.  We’ve all heard David D’s phrase, “Attraction is not a choice.”  You and your Wingwoman have to acknowledge that.

Another thing that one of our coaches, Allen, always mentions is that levels of attraction are completely subjective.  A woman who is my perfect 10 may not be anywhere close to that for someone else.  Given, there are common factors which make a woman attractive, but the minute differences within those common factors can cause a woman’s perceived attractiveness to vary drastically for different men, and even more so between a man and a woman.  So while you may believe a woman is more attractive than your Wingwoman, there is no guarantee that the Wingwoman will feel the same way.

Of course, implied in all this is that the Wingman / Wingwoman relationship can be symbiotic.  After all, in the case where she is available and the two of you actually are platonic friends (which actually IS possible), she might see a guy whom she wishes would come over and start a conversation, and if she’s not the type of girl who’s comfortable with Coming On Strong (many aren’t), then you, as a guy, can strike up a convo with that guy and allow her to ease her way in.  Sure, that guy might eventually strike up a conversation with her on his own anyway (and if she’s a smart girl who expects men to act like men and take the lead, she’ll want him to), but the smart girl stacks the deck in her favor.

“Is the speargun symbolic of anything? Well, now that you mention it…”

The Most Important Attractor – Now Proven by Real Scientists!

And speaking of stacking the deck in one’s favor…   The real reason that the whole idea of using a Wingwoman is WAY superior to using a Wingman is due to the one of the most powerful signs of High-Status Male, to which women are almost always attracted (see my previous article for UML).  AskRomeo’s approach to dating says that there are Four Characteristics of a High-Status Male that women find attractive:

1.  Protector of Loved Ones

2.  Leader of Men

3.  Ability to Emote

and the most important one:

4.  Pre-selected by Other Women

I discussed the first two in my first article for UML.  However, it’s number 4 that really counts the most… we list the most powerful factor last.

Consider the following.  Under which of the following scenarios would a woman find a guy the most attractive?

1.   He walks into a bar alone.

2.  He walks into a bar with another guy, clearly his buddy.

3.  He walks into a bar with two other guys, clearly his buddies.

4.  He walks into a bar with a girl.

5.  He walks into a bar with two girls.

6.  He walks into a bar with a girl who is obviously (based on, say, body language) his girlfriend.

7.  He walks into a bar with a girl who is obviously his girlfriend, and she’s hot.

8.  He walks into a bar with a girl who is obviously his girlfriend, and she’s hot, plus another girl who appears to be the girlfriend’s friend.

9 .  He walks into a bar with a girl who is obviously his hot girlfriend, plus another girl who appears to be the girlfriend’s friend, and the friend is also hot.

10.  He walks into a bar with a girl who is obviously his hot girlfriend, plus other girls who appear to be the girlfriend’s friends, and some of the friends are hot.

11. He walks into a bar with a girl who is obviously his hot girlfriend, plus other girls who appear to be the girlfriend’s friends, and all of the friends are hot.

12. He walks into a bar with a girl who is obviously his hot girlfriend, plus other girls who appear to be the girlfriend’s friends, and all the girls (including his girlfriend) are super-hot and are wearing the uniforms of the Washington Redskins cheerleaders.

I don’t think you need to be an evolutionary psychologist to figure out that I have deliberately listed the above scenarios ranked in order of increasing degrees of how much the Typical-Woman-in-Bar will be attracted to The Guy:

1.  In the first scenario, Guy By Himself, Typical-Woman-in-Bar will think:  (a) Best Case:  he’s meeting someone who hasn’t arrived yet; (b) Medium Case:  he’s socially inept and can’t get his buddies to hang out with him tonight; (c) Worst Case: he has no friends so he has to go out by himself: or (d) Call 911 Case:  he’s a serial killer looking for his next victim.

2.  In the Last Scenario, Guy Surrounded by Redskinettes, Typical-Woman-in-Bar will ask herself “Who is that guy and what is his mojo?  I have got to find out.”

Well, while it turns out that you don’t need to be an evolutionary psychologist to figure this out, it does help, because some evolutionary psychologists actually have used our tax dollars to study this.  (Science we can use – yeah!)  Head-shrinkers Jessica L. Yorzinski and  Michael L. Platt of the University of California, Davis published a scholarly paper discussing this phenomenon (available here in its unadulterated scientific-journal form and here in more pop-sciencey versions).  They presented to a group of 30 male and 30 female experimental participants (all red-blooded heterosexual undergrads) multiple pictures of couples (i.e. each picture showed a guy and a girl) and told the participants that “the people in each photograph were engaged in a long-term romantic relationship but their relationship ended.”   They then asked the participants of the experiment to rate the relative attractiveness of the opposite-sex people in the photos, and whether and how much they would be interested in dating the guy or girl in the picture.  Next,

…the participants then indicated their willingness to engage in a long-term relationship with each potential mate. We found that both men and women expressed more interest in engaging in a relationship with a potential mate if that mate was [previously] paired with an attractive partner.”

Or, in plain English, a girl would be more attracted to a guy whose ex-girlfriend was hot than to a guy whose ex-girlfriend was not.

Further,

“We found that men and women differed slightly in their mate-choice copying behavior. Women showed an overall greater reliance on the decisions of same-sex partners than did men, although both were influenced by partner attractiveness. This pattern was especially prominent when the attractiveness of the same-sex partner was low: women were less interested in engaging in a long-term relationship with the mate while men’s interest in the mate was not different from their initial evaluations.”

In other words, it makes more difference to a woman that the guy’s ex-girlfriend was hot than it does to a guy that her ex-boyfriend was hot.  This is particularly true if the guy’s ex was not attractive… For women, the negative effect of a guy having an unattractive ex-girlfriend was greater than the positive effect of a guy having a hot ex-girlfriend.

I could write an entire article on what this study says about the “guys care more about looks than women” stereotype… and in fact, I’ve been promising Ethan that article for a while now.  But for now, let’s put this in biological perspective:

Because females are generally more selective in their choice of mates compared to men (due to differential parental investment), they may be more skeptical of mates [who were previously] paired with unattractive partners while males may have a high baseline interest in all potential mates.

Or, chicks are predisposed to be more careful who they mate with, because the consequences of pregnancy are so great for them, while guys will, in the words of Harry, nail just about anybody.

Okay, we all already knew all that, but now we know why!

(In a further scientific study seeking to prove the obvious, and hopefully funded with even more tax dollars, Ethan and I will endeavor to prove that fire is hot and that water is wet.)

Troy McClure, Call Your Agent

The experiment conducted by Yorzinski and Platt of UC Davis obviously involved humans (well, undergrads, but that’s close enough).  However, the “preselected by other females” effect that usually allows a male to get more Tang than a space shuttle astronaut actually exists throughout the entire animal kingdom.  Yorzinski and Platt further state that

Overall, our results also align with previous studies on mate-choice copying in non-human animals. Females of species from diverse taxonomic groups change their mating decisions based upon the mating choices of other females.

In fact, this effect has even been shown to exist in fish.

“Hey there sexy… The way the other mermaids are hanging around you, I’m thinking you must have the biggest pocket protector in school.”

Fish, like any critter on dry land or not, are genetically predisposed to mate with potential partners who appear to have the best genes, in order to give the offspring the best chance of surviving.  In the case of the sailfin molly from the Comal River in Texas, when it comes to mating, the males may pursue, but the females of the species get to do the choosing (just as they do in most bars, barbecues, and sorority houses in Texas, and pretty much every venue everywhere else on Earth).

However, animal behaviorists (who obviously need to spend more time out of the lab) have observed that female sailfin mollies tend to spend more time swimming around big healthy male sailfin mollies than small runty ones.  In other words, all other things being equal, in their quest for males with the best genes, they naturally tend to flirt with big healthy jocks more than with pint-sized nerds.

So, scientists being what they are, two researchers named Klaudia Witte and Bianka Moltemeier from Universität Bielefeld (Bielefeld University) in Germany decided to make all other things unequal and screw with the tiny brains of some sailfin mollies.  The following is quoted from my Psych 101 textbook, page 361:

Under most circumstances, the female sailfin mollies from the Comal River in Texas show a mating preference for larger males.  However, what happens when a female sailfin molly observes another female showing a preference for a smaller male?  To answer this question, researchers arranged a set of tanks so that female sailfin mollies swam in a large tank that had two smaller tanks at each end [separated by glass]…  In the initial phase of the experiment, a large and small male fish were put in small tanks at either end…  The females spent considerably more time swimming in proximity to the larger male.  In the second phase of the experiment, a second female was placed in another small tank so that she appeared to be swimming near the smaller of the two males.  The original female had 20 minutes to observe the second female fraternizing with the smaller male.  In the final phase of the experiment, the experimenters removed the second female and again observed the original female’s preferences… In the second preference test the pattern had largely reversed.   The female sailfin mollies were now spending most of their time swimming near the smaller males.”

Or, in other words: female-validated mojo counts for more than muscles and good genes. This applies all the way down the food chain to, at least, fish.  It certainly applies to humans. In other words, the best way for a stereotypical nerd to take the cheerleader away from the captain of the football team is to have accepted by, and by implication “pre-selected by”,  numerous female friends. We can further extend this concept thus:

Being pre-selected by other women – especially hot other-women – carries more status and more attraction mojo than looks, muscles, clothes, cars, money, or a bank account.   (This is one of AskRomeo’s most powerful Rules of Attraction.)

Of course, having those things – looks, money, muscles – might also help a guy get pre-selected by other women in the first place(there are plenty of golddiggers out there)… but they are not pre-requisites.  A dude who walks into a room surrounded by a pack of vixens will “socially outrank” a guy who just has money or looks.  Women are genetically wired to respond to pre-selection.  It’s the most powerful of all Attraction Mechanisms.

So, to bring the whole discussion full circle… Trinie, you can wing me anytime.  I’ll return the favor, sweetie.

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