Man Law #54 – Be The Mayor
When you are in a social situation such as at a party, event, utilize the concept of being the Mayor. Being the Mayor means that you are meeting and greeting, introducing yourself to new people and introducing new sets of people to other sets of people. You can think of this as if you are running for Mayor and you want people to vote for you. The first thing you have to do is make sure people know who you are.
As soon as you step into the venue, "Be the Mayor" and work the room...Think of yourself like Social Glue that brings people together...
A Brazilian friend of mine is an excellent case study in “Being the Mayor“. As soon as he walks in the door, he smiles, either greets or introduces himself to the first person in the vicinity, shakes their hand if he feels necessary and moves on…By the time people realize that they don’t know him, he’s moved to the next person.
This is a quick, in and out, introduction…DO NOT LINGER…You simply Make Eye contact, Smile, Greet/Introduce, and move on…
Naturally extroverted people have a distinct advantage in doing this, however, anyone can learn to strike up a conversation with a person whose views might differ STRONGLY from your own. These acquaintances might not become your next best friend, but in the art of social networking, having the ability to talk to anyone, is a powerful characteristic to have…
In order to develop this “Mayor” characteristic, and reduce anxiety you may feel to meet strangers, I suggest saying “HI” to everyone you meet…whether its the janitor in your building to the President of your company. This includes at times such as when you are at the grocery store, the gym, walking down the hallway, say “Hello” to any and everyone. Your goal here is to simply look up and notice people around you. At this point, it’s not necessary to continue the conversation or build rapport, simply greet the person, and move on. Through enough of these cold-approach experiences, talking to a beautiful woman will not be a problem… You may still experience a little bit of anxiety, however, this anxiety will not be debilitating and you will be able to carry on a relaxed, flirty and fun, conversation with any woman you are around…
Man Law #53 – Make the Executive Decision
Make the Decision, Stand By It, and Move On. Waiting will do NOTHING for you except make you nervous and cause missed opportunities.
Few things are more important for a man to be able to do than to make a decision, go forward, and stick with it. There will never be a RIGHT time. All you can do is make the best decision you can make with the information and resources you have available at the time of the decision. I’ve observed that what has worked best for me is to gather the facts, if outside advice might be needed, speak to the cabinet members (See Man Law #52 – Maintain a Cabinet, weigh both the pros and cons, decide to take action, and make a quick and deliberate decision. I have no problem re-calibrating the decision after I make it if I notice that I need to adjust slightly to the left or to the right. The important part is simply MAKING the Decision. Waiting and Idleness, I have found can be detrimental and cause too many missed opportunities. Not only for what you are deciding on, but the other situations that are constantly occurring that require a decision to be made. It’s been my experience that waiting indefinitely can turn into a self-prophecy of failure. It’s better to make a decision and be wrong than to never make the decision.
When approaching someone new at a venue, what works best for me is to NOT think about what you are going to say or what to do…In fact, clear your mind of all negative thoughts of self-doubt. The more I sit, wait, overly-analyze the situation, the more likely it will be for me to simply freeze and do nothing. Nerves will get the best of me.
Part of the reason why I use Kennedy as an example is specifically for his actions during the Cuban Missile Crisis. If you have not had a chance to see the movie, Thirteen Days, you should. Kennedy was faced with a decision that would ultimately affect every person in the United States. He had little time to decide, and had a variety of different competing interest that he was presented with…This movie shows multiple perspectives during this turbulent time in American History…
It’s a good idea here to PICK someone whose decisions you respect and talk with them on how they make them. Emulate there decision making style and the process they go through until you have it under your belt. It might not be surprising to learn that they don’t know how they come to the decisions that they do as it is done by instinct and by their unconscious. After you really master something, the decision making process WILL become much quicker. You’ll know when to shoot versus when to pass… You won’t always score, but the more experience you have, the more often you will be on the winning side. Your sensitivity will be raised and you will be more aware of when to act, how to act, and how to come out on top over and over. Be sure to avoid “Paralysis through Analysis”. For some more information on the decision- making process, be sure to check out this blog-post on Being Decisive. It’s very well-written and thorough.
By being a DECISIVE man, you will do better with women, have better success and have happier relationships. This does not mean deciding FOR her, it does mean taking her opinions into account and presenting a decision that will make both of you satisfied…
Man Law #52 – Maintain a Cabinet
Since the dawn of the United States of America, the elected President has always maintained a cabinet of Senior Elected Officials. These officials are experts in their field and give the President advice, differing perspective, arguments and a course of action.
You shall be no different.
This might look like a picture of President Kennedy after he was elected...its not, he was planning his marriage to Jackie...
Think of your cabinet as your group of personally elected Officials who represent expertise in a certain area that you might seek to grow in – be it finances, sports, women, career or a personal hobby. Unlike the Cabinet shown in the picture, these positions can and should be filled with both males and females that you trust. These guys are in your corner and rooting for you. You respect and appreciate the opinions of the people in your cabinet and despite not always agreeing with them, you trust their insight.
President Kennedy is renowned for consulting his advisers in times of crisis. Regardless of your political affiliation, the idea of a Presidential Cabinet was recognized as a very smart thing to have. In the movie, Thirteen Days, President Kennedy maintained close contact with his younger brother Robert Kennedy (U.S. Attorney General) and Kenny O’Donnell (Special Assistant to the President) who he met with to discuss such issues as the Cuban Missile Crisis. We can only hope that pursuing the woman you met at the bar last week is not as serious, however, planning a good second date with someone who might be your future wife – just may be!
Whilst taking in the opinion of your cabinet, you want to retain the ability to make the executive decision. You need to be aware that at first, if you are in an area where you are a complete amateur, you want to listen to those who have expertise. However, do not fall victim to blindly following and listening to every piece of advice they give. Maintain a critical eye. They may not know all of the little pieces of information that you deemed unimportant yet might be essential to making a wise decision.
If we are not careful, the more confident we grow the less likely we are to ASK people for help, advice, assistance, etc. This turns into cockiness which to both men and women is deathly in relationships. Both men and women are victims of acting too cocky or assuming that they should not have to seek out help or advice. Men are notoriously known for doing this and this is a fault that could prove disastrous. You always want to have a group of people who you trust, YET retain the ability to listen to your own inner voice and trust your instinct.
Many women expect you to act DECISIVELY when you deal with them…they find this characteristic in men to be extremely attractive. While acting decisively will be discussed at a later time, many men need to be familiar with how a woman might present a situation where she expects YOU to make the decision. She won’t verbally tell you to decide, she’ll simply run down fifteen different options which will drive you insane since this behavior is baffling to most men…Maintain a Cabinet and retain the ability to make the Executive Decision…
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