Home > Man Law > Man Law #74 – O.K. to WANT Sex, Not to EXPECT it!

Man Law #74 – O.K. to WANT Sex, Not to EXPECT it!


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We’ve all been there. I’ve been there. You’ve been there.

It's safe to say that if shes open for this, you are in the clear...

You meet someone new and you think it. is. ON.

All the signs are there. She ask you to pick up a bottle of wine, bring it over, and to “Dress light”.  You shower up, throw some gel in your hair, hose yourself down with cologne (Editorial Note: or Axe, lets be honest here for those of you still in undergrad), pack (extra) protection and get ready to roll.

When you show up to her place, she’s wearing sweat pants and looks like she had just woken up from a 5-hour nap. She has the look of ::sucker:: on her face.

Every time I’ve met up with someone new EXPECTING anything out of the meet up, I have failed miserably and ended up with nothing.  I tended to run into this most often in college. I would be lying if I said that I don’t run into this every once in a blue moon, usually after a recent break up, but it happens.

This over eagerness shows up in your demeanor, your facial expressions, and your text messages. Suffice it to say that the LESS you expect to get, the more you will end up with

After you’ve been seeing her for a while and started a physical relationship, that is one thing. But if you’ve just met a girl or for some odd reason things have progressed with a girl you have class with and the two of you are hanging out one on one – do not expect anything out of the encounter. Don’t even let that thought cross your mind. The second you start thinking “I am so getting la–“, just stop that thought process right there. You’ll jinx yourself. I know. It’s happened to me more times than I can count.

Women are worse than German Shepherds sniffing for bombs at airports when it comes to telling if you want to hook up or not. It’s one thing if she’s decided in her head “Yes, this is going to happen”, but its another if she’s not too sure about how she feels about you yet and whether you would run back to your boys on the sidelines like you had just scored a touchdown awaiting high fives.

It's happened to all of us...

Even if she is begging you to come over and the two of you’ve been trading hot and flirtatious text messages (i.e. flirtext) –  don’t show up at her place shirtless, wearing a  bowtie, and quoting “The Situation”.

The way to overcome this is to have a Plan B. That’s right. Plan to do something afterwards. Either you have to meet up with your buddies afterwards or get to bed for an early class or work. This goes hand in hand with Man Law #58- A.B.D.S.E. But really, it is to calm yourself and realize that whatever happens happens and not to beat yourself up over it.  If you can have a good time with or without her in your life, that is the ultimate attractor and she will be able to sense this and want to be a part of it!

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  1. Anonymous
    March 16, 2010 at 1:00 am

    This happens to me all the time! Whenever I have expectaions, NOTHING happens. When I’m just going with the flow, I always seem to score bigtime. Great post!

  2. Eric Simms
    March 17, 2010 at 12:15 am

    Logical and well-written.

  3. March 19, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    Very good point. We shouldn’t expect to get some, even though we may hope to. When you expect it, you seem anxious, which turns women off. Play it cool.

  4. November 1, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    Totally approve of this post Unbreakable. I met a guy a year ago and we hit it off straight away and I invited him to my place for dinner the following weekend. I’m definately not the knickers-to-the-wind kind of gal and when I said dinner I bloody well meant dinner and nothing else.
    Dude, comes round, condoms practically flying all over the place. In fact he was so impatient to get upstairs he was vaguely rude, brushing off all attempts at conversation.
    It was horrendously insulting.
    I kicked him out.

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