Man Law #58 – A.B.D.S.E – Always Be Doing Something Else…
Few women will admit that they find men who they know will wait on them hand and foot to be EXTREMELY unattractive. Women have a special term that they throw around in their inner social circles for these types of guys , they call them “puppy dogs“.
Don’t laugh.
STAY FOCUSED....This may look like a simple game of beer pong..It's not... Woman love to lead you astray while you are hoping to score. Look for other situations where you find this happening...
Because chances are, you’ve been called one before; I know that I have.
Here is what often happens and gentlemen, we’ve all been there before, so don’t feel bad. Here is the situation -you are young, a tad bit experienced with women (or at least you think you are), going out all the time, having fun, you are inviting girls out left and right to have a good time…You finally go home with one attractive girl and have an amazing night….and what happens?
You are all over her…
Calling when you are supposed to, doing everything every woman has told you that you need to do…and yet…
She’s not interested.
Why?
Because women dislike that which comes easily to them…
Now working a one-night stand into something sustainable is another skill altogether, however, at the time, take it for what its worth. A One-Night Stand ends with that night. Chances are, both of you were drunk at the time and if you are not careful, she will easily regret sleeping with you, if you are all over her the day afterwards.
I didn’t realize this until mid-way through college that the girls I payed MORE attention to, that I called on a regular basis, that I went out of my way to say hello to, were the girls, I NEVER got… I just could not figure it out. I was doing everything that other women SAID they wanted…and yet…nada.
That was until I learned…A.B.D.S.E. – Always Be Doing Something Else.
While I only learned this acronym recently, I learned the rule long ago. So simple, yet it was like a light switch had turned on. It was the guy who was actively involved with sports, lacrosse, music, baseball, whatever, the guy who was always doing something else he was passionate about, that women always found attractive… After I realized what was really happening, I got back involved. It was almost as if I had realized that I needed to stay active as a part of my past, then met a girl I thought I liked, stopped all of these things to focus on her, and then lost it all…
The first thing that should strike you right now if you are over 18 is..."JAIL BAIT". Just ignore these types of girls...overly sexualized and playing to our basic instincts as men.
Women are exceptional seducers. They will take an All-Star Quarterback and make him a whining little boy which she likes, but doesn’t respect. I realized that when I was involved with other activities, pursuing goals, declining invites to go out, that I was actually doing BETTER with women. In fact, the more that I pushed them away, the more they wanted to go out with me… It just didn’t make any sense…
Gentlemen, just about every woman that you know has gone home (or hooked up) with a guy that she would NEVER have thought she would have…These are the guys that break every idealistic characteristic that she wrote down in her diary. They like tall men and he’s short…They like well-educated lawyers and he dropped out of high school. Women constantly find themselves rationalizing why they went home with a guy that shatters every standard that they thought they had…
It is for this very reason that you need to Always Be Doing Something Else. Stay Active and Stay Focused. It is SO easy to become entranced with a woman who shows the slightest bit of interest in you, whether its a kiss on the cheek or she goes home with you that night. You need to act like nothing happened and keep on swimming…
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I like guys who are A.B.D.S.E. When I meet a guy who is busy with work, sports, fundraising, volunteering, family, hobbies I automatically consider him a catch. On the other hand if I ask a guy what he’s doing and his response is “nothing just chillin” (WTF it’s 6:00 p.m. on a Tuesday)it’s an automatic turn off.I will consider him boring, lazy and not worth my time BUT if he said “just chillin for an hour before I hit the gym. I was up until 3:00 a.m. working on a project for work so I’m a little sleepy but the gym will give me some much needed energy, it looks like I will be working tonight! How was your day?” Now that is hot 🙂
Don’t break your plans in the beginning for a girl or at least don’t let her know you did! A guy did this for me and I thought he doesn’t take his life seriously, he’s desperate, or he’s a pushover. I lost interest within seconds. I wasn’t that in to him to start with but I was willing to give it a shot. I ended up canceling the date. OUCH!
Awesome Elle, your examples nail the point on the head…It’s important for everyone to keep doing what they are doing and not change their life around because they think they’ve met the ONE…An active lifestyle is an attractive one!
your use of acronyms proves to me that you are a true Washingtonian! haha
Good post. My thought on this is that you should just stay active anyways. Don’t stay busy just so you can tell a girl that you are to make her attracted to you. Do it for yourself. It will give you more confidence (but hopefully not self-indulgence), which is the vital key of winning girls. There is a life outside of them, and pursuing your other goals will eventually find you very attractive to everyone, not just the women you want to date.
I agree with all in this matter. I lead a very busy life, as Ethan can attest, and those that meet me AND inquire about what I do will soon understand that fact. Every man (and woman) should be passionate about their personal lives and what goes on within it. Having that drive and determination for most of us is what attracts us to another person beyond the physical attributes that initially caught our eye. Also, wanting to be a part of someone’s hectic schedule is a goal, especially for many women, because it validates their worth (in some degree). We all want to feel needed and appreciated, therefore if that person carves out a bit of time for you then you know there COULD be more. However, we should all be wary that at times if soemone has no plans for the evening it’s for a good reason. Because I often travel and work long hours, upon return or during a lull in my schedule, I prefer to do nothing or at least that I’ll have nothing planned. I am easily coerced out of my sweats to go chill at a bar or catch a movie. But there are ties when teh best thing is a night at home alone. So that’s my take…