Man Law #75 – Sweet Lips Always Deliver the Poison
From “Lets Just Be Friends” to “You are not what I’m looking for” to “Did you actually think I would be interested in dating you” are all things that most of us if not all of us have probably heard before at some point or another. I have yet to meet a person that has 150% success with the opposite sex (but if you claim that status, send e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org). Now the term “success” needs to be defined for the purposes of this article and for the duration of the blog. When I say success it simply means that you were proactive in the outcome of the relationship. Whether it means you initiated exclusivity with her or broke things off, you were the one behind the decision. It didn’t simply fall into you. If you wake up one day, kiss her goodbye with everything fine and dandy, and you come back to her place with your things packed in a suitcase, that relationship was NOT a success.
Now I say “Sweet Lips Always Deliver the Poison” because I have YET to hear an attractive woman say anything to me that didn’t sound as if it was delivered on rose petals. While the delivery may be incredible, the message is clear. Take into account these two different styles of communication by men and women (purposely exaggerated):
Man: “I’m just not that into you.”
Attractive Woman: “I had a great time with you, I loved your choice and selection of places tonight, but I simply do not want to see you ever again. In fact, once you leave here, I’d like you to stop contacting me, delete my information from your phone, never e-mail me again, and remove all of our mutual friends from Facebook. Furthermore, I have a restraining order and from here on out you will not be allowed within 50 feet of me. I think this will be the best for BOTH of us. Does that sound like something we both can agree with, Charles? By the way, I sent flowers to your mother for her birthday, I hope she likes them.”
Or another favorite:
Attractive Woman: “Charles, I slept with your best friend over vacation because I was angry you didn’t take me out on Valentine’s Day. But it didn’t mean anything to me. I shouted your name during sex because I was thinking of you at the time. Are you mad?”
(Editorial Note: This law does not apply to women from New York or New Jersey. They will say anything).
I don’t believe these women intentionally want to hurt you. In fact, from what I gather, they are doing their best to be honest with you without you hating them for their momentary weakness after a few glasses of wine and jaeger. However, if you begin to notice a pattern where:
(1) The woman contacts you with a last minute invite
(2) You go out with her and treat her all evening then
(3) She retreats at the end of the night with more sweet-lipped poison (“I have a really early morning and don’t want to spoil tonight with my constantly thinking about my day tomorrow” or “You look really tired, I shouldn’t keep you up any longer” or “I look forward to the next time – I’ll cook dinner and take care of you; we’ll do that soon (soon = probably never)) – you better believe she is merely toying with you.
Gentlemen, stop focusing on the deliverer and focus on the delivery. Pay attention to her body language. Listen to the message. If she does or says anything that doesn’t pass your smell test, then it’s time to re-evaluate your investment in her and/or the relationship. Man UP and call her out. Always remember that if she states that she is interested in seeing you, but never follows through and things always “come up” last minute, chances are, she’s delivering the poison. The antidote is the time-tested and Unbreakable Man Law Fan Favorite, Man Law #7.