Archive for July, 2010

Man Law #80 – Integrity. Integrity. Integrity.

July 13, 2010 7 comments

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You can’t build a reputation on something you are going to do.” – Henry Ford

To my utter surprise, when Man Law #79 was posted, it received some immediate flames from not only fans but close friends.  “How did this happen?” was the first question that entered my mind.  I’m always looking for constructive criticisms from those who are not going to hold back. Every now and then a rage-filled response to something I’ve written is not only appreciated but deserved. So after hearing some valuable feedback and opinions from friends and readers, I came to the following conclusion and thought I’d take some time to clarify the two points I hoped readers walked away with after reading the last entry:

Cary Grant

If you look for the definition of "Integrity", you'll see a picture of "Cary Grant." Just trust me on this one. Rent any movie he's been in and take notes Gentlemen!

1) Women have an amazing ability to recall most, if not all, things that you say…

and with this in mind…

2) Follow through your words with actions.

That’s it!

Instead, a large number of readers left the post with the following belief:

They [Women] are waiting for you to screw up and say something you don’t mean in order to call you out on it later at your moment of weakness. They’ve got both ears perked, cameras rolling, and are listening to your every word, every gasp that leaves your mouth for a HINT that you may be talking out of your ass and filled with BS.

Now, in order to make things interesting, sometimes it’s necessary to embellish the story and add a few exaggerations here and there.  It’s a blog (read: fun entertainment). For those who have been reading for a while, you’ve hopefully come to understand my tongue-in-cheek instructional methodology. If not, please start from the beginning here.

(Editorial Note: For those of you who have an aversion to mathematical symbols and Physics references, you may want to read something else now!)

Which brings me to the subject of the current post, Man Law # 80 – Integrity.Integrity.Integrity. or  I3 if you’re nasty. Pronounced: “I-cubed” for short.

Integrity along with one other item, which I’ll mention in a later post and starts with the letter “P”, is one of the most important factors that every man has working for him. As soon as you meet a new woman,  whether she knows it or not, she is subconsciously saying to herself “Is this guy as good as he appears or says that he is?” If she’s not thinking this, chances are she’s saying to herself “Get this guy away from me.”

Integrity is one of those things you have to show right from the start. At T=0 of your initial interaction, you have a blank slate and this is why its important to set the right framework from the very beginning; If you say you are going to call her at 2:00pm on Tuesday, then call her at 2:00pm on Tuesday.  If you say you are going to take her out on Friday at 8:00pm, then take her out on Friday at 8:00pm.  Simply following up with these little things can make a big difference in how she sees you. It shows that you do what you say and that you follow through or in other words – you’re responsible.

"I'm sorry, I'll call you earlier when I'm going to be late next time!" - Soon-to-be-Deceased Dan

Brief aside, if you are running late or think you’ll have to postpone the date until later, don’t call 5 minutes before hand to cancel. Even if I’m held up in traffic, I’ll text/call the person beforehand and state that I will be 30 minutes late.  This will give you bonus points in the end.

Although I run this blog, people sometimes falsely assume that I am claiming to be a dating expert. I’m not. In fact, I got called an “asshole/jerk” a few minutes before I posted this, but the point is, I’m willing to admit mistakes and move on.  Occasionally, I’ll even squeeze out an apology or two when I feel I’ve done something really wrong (and I’ve already filled my apology quota for the year).

Women’s lives are filled with guys who overpromise and under deliver. It’s part of the reason why many give us such hard times in the first place.  In almost all areas of life that I can think of, its better for the reverse to be true. Better to under-promise and overdeliver and produce that “Wow” effect (Credit: Zappo’s CEO Tony Hsiesh for that observation). If she’s expecting McDonalds and you take her to McCormicks, you’ve produced that “Wow” effect.  Before I start veering off topic, let me end Man Law #80 as directly as possible. I lost the original Aristotle quote I had planned to use so Tony Montana, Scarface will have to do:

“All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one. Do you understand?” – Scarface

Integrity. Gentlemen. This is Ethan Bishop. Over and Out.

Comments Welcome.

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