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Man Law #64 – Master the Zen Approach, Be Like Water.

November 18, 2009 3 comments

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Free your mind from distraction. Go in there and Do it. Join a Yoga class and thank me later.

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid,outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.” – Bruce Lee, 1975 (Tao of Jeet Kune Do)

Contrary to popular belief, Bruce Lee wrote the first guide to picking up women. The original “Tao of Jeet Kune Do” contained a brilliant collection of his own personal “pick up artist” (more than just a coincidence) guidelines and life lessons. Instead of martial arts drawings, the guide had explicit self-drawn illustrations of maximum impact positions found in the Kama Sutra.  His infamous one-inch punch was actually a complete hip movement lacking any hand involvement that he discovered during coitus. When publisher after publisher turned this guide down for its graphic depictions, Good Ole Bruce, changed the content to fit his “day job” profession as a martial artist. He kept many of the quotes the same because they applied to many situations whether they were involved with a woman or a desperate fight for your life. It is not by coincidence that the two are so closely related.

You want a positive mind state when approaching and a "lifting" quality - Pick UP the person.

For lack of a better term, when you approach women, you should not think of it as an “approach”.  Your mind needs to be open, free. Forget pick up lines. Pay attention to what’s around you in the moment. Hearing the word “approach” fires cylinders in your brain that tense your muscles and causes unnecessary tension.  Your goal at this point is to jump right in the situation before your brain has a chance to talk yourself out of it.  Jump In – Think Later.  There are many times in your life that jumping in without thinking something through is not a good idea.  This is not one of them.

The more you delay and “justify” the decision, the less likely you will decide on anything. My father used to call this “Getting Ready to ‘Get Ready’”. You can make sure you have the right shoes,  right shorts, right t-shirt, right socks, right deodorant, but if you don’t get your ass out of the door, you’ll never make it to the gym before it closes.

When meeting people, your ultimate goal is to not consciously have a pre-determined destination in mind.  The conversation should really “flow like water” and whatever subject matter strikes the interest of the two of you, go with it. You might subconsciously want to go home with her, but if she gets those vibes that you are going to hump her leg like the pug at her Aunt Peggy’s house, she’ll be gone faster than a Friday paycheck.

Man Law #61: Semper Momentus Maximus!

November 3, 2009 2 comments

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If one thing is for certain, there is a definite quality to people who make things happen. Their movements are surrounded by motion and allure. They have the ability to make you want to join them in their journey.  On a personal level, these individuals have an ability to move with energy. Their presence electrifies and inspires the people around them.

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You want to feel the energy flowing out of you. Think of this energy as you are in the middle of the hottest club in Miami and you are bringing the spirit to those around you. Lift people up!

Semper Momentus Maximus was certainly not used by any Romans that I’m aware of, however, I’d imagine, if it had been used, it would surely mean the following – Always with Great Momentum. As with all things in English, it sounds infinitely better in Latin.

Most people have experienced this infectious energy that floods into your pores like a cologne or perfume.  You feel this energy in your body and afterwards you are left in a noticeable glow. Many people have experienced this “glow”. It’s as if we have caught on fire and everything just “works”.

When you move with momentum, you are in the zone; you see relationships between things clearer; you solve problems faster, and when you are out speaking with people, it’s clear your game is ON. Before you go out, you want to bring the energy and act with motion.

The goal is not to be noticeably flamboyant and wanting of attention, people are drawn to you through your actions and your ability to pick their spirits up.  We tend to want to be around those who give off this energy as opposed to those who suck you dry. We all know these types – simply being around these individuals is a task.  Their self-absorption with their own problems brings everyone down. When in social settings, distance yourself from these individuals.

You need to keep the energy going in a positive direction and if the conversation seems like its dying, follow Man Law #41 Initiate the Approach, Initiate the Departure. Remove yourself from the situation and come back when the energy is back on an upward spin.

The way to get into this heightened state is to mentally psych yourself up. You can think of this as a personal pep rally or a pre-game tailgate where the goal is to enter the most positive state of mind possible.  It’s important to let the things that don’t matter simply slide.

When you have this momentum with you, you’ll find all things come easier and people will naturally be attracted to you.

Interview with the Flirtexter: Debra explains Flirtexting 101

October 28, 2009 9 comments

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A few weeks ago, I posted the popular “Art of Text, Part I”.  To this day, it remains the single most popular post on the blog.  In it, I cited the recently released book Flirtexting by Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz. These girls have been taking the world by storm with their new book and appeared on the Tyra Banks show a few weeks ago (You can watch the full interview on their site Flirtexting.com). Through word of mouth and a bit of six degrees of separation, the blog came to their attention. After many weeks of courtship, love letters and flower sending, I was finally able to track down Debra and she agreed to an interview.Debra is a force to be reckoned with, forming her own personal shopping company, Fern Estelle, that has dressed some of the hottest

Debra Goldstein

Ms. Debra Goldstein

A-list Celebs in Hollywood,  it’s clear that she has some serious game. After speaking with these two girls and reading their book, it dawned on me that they are really teaching “Text-Defense for Women.” Guys are going to use whatever tools at their disposal to get the girl. The text is simply the latest and greatest in our arsenal. What Debra and Olivia have done is give a framework for how women should respond to a clueless guy who has forgotten that the cell phone can STILL place calls.  Texting is not a replacement for phone calling… It is another way of getting to know someone and feeling them out in a way that is very low-pressure and is exactly where most guys want to start off…So unless you are still using a typewriter to schedule your dates, I suggest you read up!

Without further ado…

Ethan: You meet a hot guy at a bar on Saturday…You give him your contact information and you totally dig him. How do you feel when a guy Facebook Friends you the next day verses texting or calling? For instance, when I asked other woman about a guy who phonecalls the next day…they ALL described this guy as overly eager and this usually translated into loser and they became not-interested.  Texting is my personal method of choice, but it seems that texting and Facebook friend request are now the next step in the “courtship” process in the information age.  How do you feel about this?

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Deb and Liv

Debra: We all know that when we meet someone we like, the first thing we do is google them or ask them to be our friend on Facebook. It’s a mixture of curiosity and taking precaution that makes us want a little bit more info before putting ourselves out there. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with that. Because lets face it, if a new guy Facebook’s me and I see in his photos that he always wears V-Neck t-shirts, gels his hair, and lists Brokeback Mountain as his favorite movie, I know in advance that this relationship is not going to work. Yes, judging a book by its cover is wrong, but we all do it. Trust your instincts. There are plenty of fish in the Facebook sea.

Ethan: What do you think of guys who ASK you out on dates through text? Some women don’t mind while others that I’ve asked call this LAME. I, personally, reserve flirting for text messaging and CALL to plan dates…

Debra: In the world of dating I have found that finding a person who you have a special connection with comes far and few between. In a way, I am glad for this because it makes finding that person and those relationships that much more special. You know it when you see it. So when I give a guy my number and he chooses to “text me out” instead of asking me out over a telephone call, what that does is shows me where he stands and where he sees this relationship going…which is, not very far. There is nothing wrong with that, it just means that this guy doesn’t see as much potential in having a serious relationship with me as a guy who decides to call me to ask me out. Knowing that is key! NOW with younger couples (i.e.: only dated after text) a guy who truly likes a girl might just text her first because he grew up in the age of Flirtexting and its all he knows. Be aware of this if you are under 21.

Ethan: From your past experiences, what has been the BEST text you’ve received and why? Describe the components of the BPT (Best Possible Text) that a guy should follow to get you out on a date with him after only meeting him once? Dos and Dont’s…

Debra: Guys need to be aware that their initial Flirtext to a girl is so important that we call it their “second first impression.” Where as before we judge guys by their “package”, today we judge guys by their “flirtexts”. Therefore their initial initial flirtext needs to be well thought out and perfect. The components in a perfect initial flirtext are as follows:

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Deb and TUI

1. Never ask a girl out in your initial flirtext. You need to feel out if she actually likes you or if she just gave you her number so that you would leave her alone.

2. Bring up something that happened when you met or poke fun of something the two of you talked about. This will A) Trigger her memory as to who you are and B) Show her that you are thoughtful, clever, and a good listener.

3. Say something funny. Every girl lists “funny” as one of the top three qualities she looks for in a man. Make her laugh and you are on the right path to that first date.

For further information, be sure to follow Flirtexting on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/flirtexting)  and be sure to check out their website (www.flirtexting.com)

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