Man Theory – The Art of Text, Part I.
(Editorial Note: Unlike previous Laws, Man Theory, will be a series of one or more essays dealing with a single issue. This first theory is on TEXTING versus CALLING. Be sure to check out the sequel post The Art of Text, Part II – The Rise of the Textual Revolution.)
Women, The reason why he doesn’t call: “It’s not you…its your voicemail!”
Most men do NOT call for this simple reason – Voice Mail. It is recorded evidence and from past experience, your message might be scrutinized by not only the woman you were trying to reach but her girl friends, guy friends, and just about anyone in the vicinity (including waiters and random strangers on the bus). We know this because its happened to us…
Female Friend: “Hahaha, listen to the message this loser left me…”
Or worse things can happen such as this real life situation where a guy left quite possibly the worst message in voice mail history and not only did the woman keep the message, she recorded it and posted it on a blog (listen at your own risk!):
The Reason Some Girls Stay Single
Now this tends to be funny for most women, but as a general rule, if for some reason the woman does not call the guy back, the guy has NO recourse. If he contacts her again after leaving a message he’s either a stalker, overly-interested, or creepy. Many women do NOT check their voicemail and yes, I know that YOU personally always check your voicemail…however, many “other” women wait for their voicemails to build up and simply delete them all at once or put it in their heads to call the guy back. What happens is that when a woman does not immediately call the guy back (“Oh, I’ll call him when I get home from my pedi“), the longer she waits, the less likely she is to call. After a certain number of days past, even if she wants to call the guy back, many times she won’t because she feels like the guy will be mad… Now ladies, when you don’t answer either because you are not by your phone or for any another reason, it forces the guy to make the best of 3 awkward decisions:
1. Keep Calling and don’t leave messages.
2. Call, Leave a Message, and Wait for your response
3. Call, Leave a Message, and Text.
Each of these choices, is awkward and uncomfortable. Thus, our prayers were answered…the TEXT was invented…the best thing to happen to men in the last 10 years… No longer are we forced to wonder if she received the message or not. We know she did. It’s a low, no pressure way of getting in touch with someone.
Now, a lot of women LOVE to talk on the phone with their friends…But that is just it… A man that is “pursuing” you, is not a friend…or at least not yet. If a man spends too much time on the phone with you, and not asking you out, women subconsciously place him in the friend zone.
Women, which would you rather have…flirtatious text multiple times a day, or no contact with you and a weekly hour phone call where he may or may not ask you out at the end? After an hour long conversation, in most cases, he will not feel any closer to you and may even question the point of asking you out or meeting up with you! Is the point of going out to get closer or to get physical?
Texting is a new phenomenon to both men and women. Never before in the history of the world has “TEXTING” even been an option when dealing with male and female relationships. While e-mail and instant message might be the grandparents and parents, respectively, the TEXT has broken new boundaries and thrown both men and women for a loop when it comes to social interactions. Women have thus written off TEXTing as a substandard way of communicating with each other…Many women think to themselves once receiving a text from a potential guy “What? No Call?!? He’s done…”
After speaking with many women on this issue, it is obvious to them, that a phone call is a sign of interest and that if a man does not call within the first few days of meeting that many women view this as an insult.
Women, nothing could be further from the truth.
Unless talking for a specific purpose, a typical conversation between a man and another man goes like this:
Precondition: Bill and Andy went to the same college and haven’t spoken in years. Randomly, Bill is in town and calls up Andy. Here is a sample of how that conversation might go:
Bill: “Hey Andy…dude…I’m just in town for the weekend…want to grab a drink?”
Andy: “Dude, no problem…lets hit up this new bar Night and Ice around 11..”
Bill: “Cool. I’m down”
Andy: “Cool, call me at 10:45 for directions. Later bro”
Bill: “Later Kid.”
When men communicate, it’s generally for one of two things…its to relay instructions OR to seek advice. They must have a specific PURPOSE to why they called…For a man to call up another man, just to TALK, he risk wasting the other man’s time… For instance…
George: “Hey Andy, how’s it going?”
Andy: “Just fine George…How can I help you?”
George: “No reason, just called to see how you were doing?”
Andy: “You What?”
George: “You know, just called to see how you were doing?”
Andy: “Don’t ever call me again George…you live across the street…if you want to talk just stop by”.
I, for one, am not a fan of talking on the phone. I’d easily place 90% of the calls I receive to be work related or something that someone wants me to do for them…Think about it…does your boss TEXT you to do something, or CALL you? Text is somewhat reserved for people you have a casual,no-pressure relationship with which is exactly where you want to start off when you first start seeing someone…
Homework Assignment: Women, check out this book: Flirtexting