The Unbreakable Man Laws

Strive to be the initiator at all points of the interaction. Many women will wait until you make the first move before they decide how to react. Even the upwardly mobile, career-oriented go-getters will still fall into traditional “man pursues the woman” role from time to time.  Everything from making plans for the weekend to deciding whether to make the relationship official, she expects you to decide first. Thus, it’s important to maintain the upbeat flow of the conversation and while perhaps cruel punishment,  leave her first.

At any given time, women like this have multiple men pursuing them. Utilize Situational Openers to open up conversation. They will let you know in a heartbeat whether they are available...

The reason for initiating the departure is that this signals that you have a purpose and you are wanted elsewhere. If the spirit of the interaction drops, and you find yourself “lingering” in proximity to a stranger you just met, this will send up red flags to most women and she may even label you a creep. Even if its simply to go to the bathroom and stand at the opposite end of the bar/venue, you do not want to let an upbeat interaction between the two of you stall out.

Now, here is where the problem sets in…WHEN do you approach the woman and How? Men are typically blind to this aspect of women. We just don’t see it. Instead of going up to a man she’s interested in, a woman will create a situation where SHE is approachable. If you are on the dance floor, and suddenly, two or more girls start dancing right in front of you…Chances are, they are not there because the dance floor is crowded. If you are standing by the artichoke dip and she walks over past the rest of the food on the table to get to that artichoke dip…Chances are, she could have eaten that tostito with the salsa that was right in front of her…

It baffled me at first why women do this – why must she be so sly in her “approach.” And after much thinking, this has been the result of my musings…

Women do not get dolled up like this to sit in the corner and chat with their girlfriends all night. Open body language and glances are inviting YOU to approach. Be aware of the proximity to the bar and remember Man Law #1.

Creating the situation that will allow you to approach grants her one thing, and one thing only – plausible deniability. Whether she has a boyfriend or not, if she is ever asked to explain, how the two of you met, she can say that YOU approached her. Plausible Deniability is important to women in many situations not only in the initial approach, but in any situation where her actions might not be held in high regard by her social group if and when they find out. Ultimately, it boils down to this – she can deny that she had anything to do with your interaction with her. If you were an absolute dud, she can state – “Some loser just came up to me”, where as, if you knock her socks off and she disappears from the scene with you, she can state “Some guy just came up to me and one thing led to another …and bada bing, bada boom…” While this latter situation might be rare, it illustrates the point that she can act the innocent victim which will save her from any accusations by her girlfriends of being considered promiscuous.

(Editorial Note: Women, for an excellent explanation for why men are too dumb to notice when you want them to approach you,  be sure to check out this article on Why Men Prefer Direct Pickup Lines.)

There are several different ways you can naturally approach a woman that you would like to get to know.  Whatever you’ve heard about using scripted pick up lines, don’t do it.  Most women consider them cheesy, hate them, or think they are just plain offensive.  While they might be “flattered” that you came up to them, most pick up lines simply do not have the effect you would like them to have…

Perfect example! Asking her opinion on something in front of you is a great way to strike up a conversation...

The best way that I’ve observed to naturally open a conversation up with a woman (or really anyone) is by pointing out an object that both of you can see, immediately right there in front of you.  For instance, showing interest in a book that she is reading will mark you as someone who is at the very least slightly intellectual.  If you are at a museum, asking her opinion on the art piece in front of both of you, is a good way to broach the conversation…  Likewise, if you are at a party/gathering, and you observe that she is eating food by the Hors d’Oeuvres table, asking her opinion by saying something to the extent of “Will I die if I eat this?”, will make her laugh and then following up with “How does it taste?” will get her to describe it.   You’ve really already done the hard part at this point.  Either way, this approach is not seen as “aggressive” .

(Editorial note: Be careful when at a concert or other performance and using a situational opener. This will draw her attention away from the performance and she might find it annoying. Better to ask what she thinks AFTER the concert is over than while it is happening. )

Again, this is where your Cultivation of Humor (Man Law #23) comes in handy… The first few times you meet her you want to keep things lighthearted, flirtatious, and stay away from heavily charged topics like her thoughts on the “War in Iraq” or her views on Health Care. Current events are great topics in a group setting but one-on-one, your primary focus should be learning about…yes…her.  By asking her opinion, you are asking what SHE thinks which is very important in her getting comfortable with you.

The good thing about situational openers is that they work even after the two of you have met each other…You can use them the first time you meet her, or after you two have been dating for six months. For instance, If you are walking through a park, and see a pair of dogs mating, you could point it out to her and say “Don’t get any ideas…”.  Wit mixed with observational skills is a powerful tool.

"Is it just me, or does it look like we are sitting on a male body part to you too?"

During the conversation, you want to stay in the moment. Don’t start talking about how drunk you got the night before or what you did at work today, especially with someone new. She doesn’t want to hear it. You want to keep the conversation right there in front of you. She might ask what you did last weekend, don’t fall for it gentleman…change the subject, its a trap. Use this opportunity to make something up so completely unbelievable that she has to laugh. You MUST do this with a straight face for the right effect.