Man Law #39 – ‘Man Talk’ – Utilize Situational Openers. Observe your Surroundings.
There are several different ways you can naturally approach a woman that you would like to get to know. Whatever you’ve heard about using scripted pick up lines, don’t do it. Most women consider them cheesy, hate them, or think they are just plain offensive. While they might be “flattered” that you came up to them, most pick up lines simply do not have the effect you would like them to have…
The best way that I’ve observed to naturally open a conversation up with a woman (or really anyone) is by pointing out an object that both of you can see, immediately right there in front of you. For instance, showing interest in a book that she is reading will mark you as someone who is at the very least slightly intellectual. If you are at a museum, asking her opinion on the art piece in front of both of you, is a good way to broach the conversation… Likewise, if you are at a party/gathering, and you observe that she is eating food by the Hors d’Oeuvres table, asking her opinion by saying something to the extent of “Will I die if I eat this?”, will make her laugh and then following up with “How does it taste?” will get her to describe it. You’ve really already done the hard part at this point. Either way, this approach is not seen as “aggressive” .
(Editorial note: Be careful when at a concert or other performance and using a situational opener. This will draw her attention away from the performance and she might find it annoying. Better to ask what she thinks AFTER the concert is over than while it is happening. )
Again, this is where your Cultivation of Humor (Man Law #23) comes in handy… The first few times you meet her you want to keep things lighthearted, flirtatious, and stay away from heavily charged topics like her thoughts on the “War in Iraq” or her views on Health Care. Current events are great topics in a group setting but one-on-one, your primary focus should be learning about…yes…her. By asking her opinion, you are asking what SHE thinks which is very important in her getting comfortable with you.
The good thing about situational openers is that they work even after the two of you have met each other…You can use them the first time you meet her, or after you two have been dating for six months. For instance, If you are walking through a park, and see a pair of dogs mating, you could point it out to her and say “Don’t get any ideas…”. Wit mixed with observational skills is a powerful tool.
During the conversation, you want to stay in the moment. Don’t start talking about how drunk you got the night before or what you did at work today, especially with someone new. She doesn’t want to hear it. You want to keep the conversation right there in front of you. She might ask what you did last weekend, don’t fall for it gentleman…change the subject, its a trap. Use this opportunity to make something up so completely unbelievable that she has to laugh. You MUST do this with a straight face for the right effect.