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Man Theory – The Dating Paradigm Shift, Taking The Red Pill

November 23, 2009 1 comment

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Not the process of “dating” or going out on a “date“,  I’m referring to the word date” and having to label things in order for them to exist for some people.

Han Solo never dated Leia; Indiana Jones never dated Dr. Elsa Schneider; Neo never dated Trinity; and James Bond definitely did not date Pussy Galore. How did all of these men manage to attract these beautiful women while simultaneously saving the world? Most of these women mentioned were not stereotypical damsels in distress by any means. They were political leaders, doctors, accomplished hackers, and…well…we don’t really know what profession “Pussy” was supposed to be in the movie but for the most part these women could take care of themselves!

The word “dating” causes a lot of interpretation problems.  If you see someone more than twice and it is not clear whether you have a romantic interest in them, are the two of you “dating”? At a close second come other words such as seduction, courtship, and pursuit.  None of them accurately describe what is happening. These words build up perceptions in our own minds and the minds of others.  When it comes to the English language, we are seriously lacking words in the whole relationship department.

Hearing James Bond say "Sorry honey, I just don't do this on a first date." just doesn't sound right...

It turns out to be a necessary evil and one that I have not been able to solve throughout the course of writing this blog. What name can you give a pseudo-opportunity for a relationship that you hope to become sexual? To say that your pursuit of another is entirely altruistic is naive at best. You are not hoping to add another friend to your list. You are seducing, courting, and finally pursuing a woman that you find appealing.  For most men, the goal of dating is to fulfill a “physical” need.  Along with that physical requirement for many men is an emotional connection with the woman which typically comes far,far behind and might not even be a factor with some.

To get away from the black and white, formal approach to a date, take it one step further.  Think of yourself as somewhat of an action hero who has been sent to save thy woman from a harsh environment.  WWJBD – What Would James Bond Do?  After all, he was arguably the biggest ladies man in the theaters for almost half a century and how many dates did you see 007 going on? Answer: Not Many. (Editorial Note: For those of you who may have forgotten, a rather nice English gentleman went through the effort of compiling a list of Bond Women. You can view this formidable list here: http://www.jamesbondmm.co.uk/bond-girls). James Bond didn’t have time to date in the traditional sense and neither does the modern man. He would make the most of the situation he had while he knew he had it.  If James Bond had 15 minutes to live and he was “trapped” with a woman who just happened to be there, you can best be sure he was running some sick game on her.

redpill

Take the Red Pill. Create your own reality.

It’s my belief that part of the allure that James Bond and Indiana Jones had on these women in the movies was that in every case they met through fate of circumstance. There was a “reason” why they were forced into “compromising” situations. Neither of these men approached the woman in the traditional sense. For one reason or another, they needed each other for survival.  These women were thrown into the mix with the hero and during that time they realized they were furiously attracted to the man that in most instances they viewed with hostility at first.

Forget the typical constraints of what society says you should do to “court” a woman with flowers, a nice dinner, and a movie.  These might have worked on our parents at a point where what was socially acceptable for women to engage in with a man she was not married to was much more conservative but for the most part, they are a remnant of the past.

To Date or Not To Date. That is the question.

And one in which I’d love to hear what everyone thinks on the subject.  For the busy man or woman working 40+ hours a week or involved with a packed full-time schedule in college, how do you “date” in the 21st century? Post your thoughts below.

Man Law #64 – Master the Zen Approach, Be Like Water.

November 18, 2009 3 comments

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Free your mind from distraction. Go in there and Do it. Join a Yoga class and thank me later.

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid,outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.” – Bruce Lee, 1975 (Tao of Jeet Kune Do)

Contrary to popular belief, Bruce Lee wrote the first guide to picking up women. The original “Tao of Jeet Kune Do” contained a brilliant collection of his own personal “pick up artist” (more than just a coincidence) guidelines and life lessons. Instead of martial arts drawings, the guide had explicit self-drawn illustrations of maximum impact positions found in the Kama Sutra.  His infamous one-inch punch was actually a complete hip movement lacking any hand involvement that he discovered during coitus. When publisher after publisher turned this guide down for its graphic depictions, Good Ole Bruce, changed the content to fit his “day job” profession as a martial artist. He kept many of the quotes the same because they applied to many situations whether they were involved with a woman or a desperate fight for your life. It is not by coincidence that the two are so closely related.

You want a positive mind state when approaching and a "lifting" quality - Pick UP the person.

For lack of a better term, when you approach women, you should not think of it as an “approach”.  Your mind needs to be open, free. Forget pick up lines. Pay attention to what’s around you in the moment. Hearing the word “approach” fires cylinders in your brain that tense your muscles and causes unnecessary tension.  Your goal at this point is to jump right in the situation before your brain has a chance to talk yourself out of it.  Jump In – Think Later.  There are many times in your life that jumping in without thinking something through is not a good idea.  This is not one of them.

The more you delay and “justify” the decision, the less likely you will decide on anything. My father used to call this “Getting Ready to ‘Get Ready’”. You can make sure you have the right shoes,  right shorts, right t-shirt, right socks, right deodorant, but if you don’t get your ass out of the door, you’ll never make it to the gym before it closes.

When meeting people, your ultimate goal is to not consciously have a pre-determined destination in mind.  The conversation should really “flow like water” and whatever subject matter strikes the interest of the two of you, go with it. You might subconsciously want to go home with her, but if she gets those vibes that you are going to hump her leg like the pug at her Aunt Peggy’s house, she’ll be gone faster than a Friday paycheck.

Man Law #61: Semper Momentus Maximus!

November 3, 2009 2 comments

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If one thing is for certain, there is a definite quality to people who make things happen. Their movements are surrounded by motion and allure. They have the ability to make you want to join them in their journey.  On a personal level, these individuals have an ability to move with energy. Their presence electrifies and inspires the people around them.

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You want to feel the energy flowing out of you. Think of this energy as you are in the middle of the hottest club in Miami and you are bringing the spirit to those around you. Lift people up!

Semper Momentus Maximus was certainly not used by any Romans that I’m aware of, however, I’d imagine, if it had been used, it would surely mean the following – Always with Great Momentum. As with all things in English, it sounds infinitely better in Latin.

Most people have experienced this infectious energy that floods into your pores like a cologne or perfume.  You feel this energy in your body and afterwards you are left in a noticeable glow. Many people have experienced this “glow”. It’s as if we have caught on fire and everything just “works”.

When you move with momentum, you are in the zone; you see relationships between things clearer; you solve problems faster, and when you are out speaking with people, it’s clear your game is ON. Before you go out, you want to bring the energy and act with motion.

The goal is not to be noticeably flamboyant and wanting of attention, people are drawn to you through your actions and your ability to pick their spirits up.  We tend to want to be around those who give off this energy as opposed to those who suck you dry. We all know these types – simply being around these individuals is a task.  Their self-absorption with their own problems brings everyone down. When in social settings, distance yourself from these individuals.

You need to keep the energy going in a positive direction and if the conversation seems like its dying, follow Man Law #41 Initiate the Approach, Initiate the Departure. Remove yourself from the situation and come back when the energy is back on an upward spin.

The way to get into this heightened state is to mentally psych yourself up. You can think of this as a personal pep rally or a pre-game tailgate where the goal is to enter the most positive state of mind possible.  It’s important to let the things that don’t matter simply slide.

When you have this momentum with you, you’ll find all things come easier and people will naturally be attracted to you.

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